Contact The Editor
Articles By This Author
• The Weather Channel forecast a warm winter for New York and below average snowfall. Don't ask about the noise forecast. I don't want to be the New York comic who's paying $4,500 a month for a tiny studio apartment being awakened from a deep sleep every morning by the 5 AM Call to Prayer.
• New York City voters elected Zohran Mamdani, a radical socialist Muslim born in Uganda, to be New York Mayor the next four years. To celebrate Mamdani's win, progressive ice cream maker Ben and Jerry's created a new flavor called Uganda Be Mayor. It costs you $6.00 a pint plus $18.00 in taxes.
• The Los Angeles Dodgers were petitioned by an immigrant rights group to decline the visit to the White House to protest Trump's deportation policy. I'm a Dodgers fan and they have a point. Whenever the Dodgers play an exhibition game in Mexico or Tokyo, we're the home team.
• Lions Gate Studio posted the trailer for the Michael Jackson biography movie that will open in theaters next April. When Michael died in 2009, the coroner reported his bloodstream contained Propofol, Dilaudid, Percodan and Demerol. There is no way he left us for a better world than THAT one.
• Tesla shareholders approved a $1 trillion pay package to be paid out in stages to Elon Musk if he can whip Tesla's market capitalization to $8.5 trillion. He would get $1,000,000, 000,000 on top of his current $500,000,000,000 fortune. Only Pearl Harbor attracted more Zeroes than Elon Musk.
• Colossal Biosciences revealed that Tom Brady's pet pit bull mix Junie was cloned from his late beloved pet Lulu who died in 2023. That's not his only animal switch. Until Election Day, Tom Brady was widely recognized as the GOAT, but now the title belongs to next year's Miss New York.
• Business News reports Zohran Mamdani will have a difficult time passing his rent freezes, higher income taxes and higher suburban property taxes on New Yorkers. That's the bad news for him. The good news is Mamdani was named Florida's Realtor of the Year for 2026.
• The Washington Post reported that the Senate remained hopelessly deadlocked with the government shutdown. It's caused a huge strain on federal workers, air traffic controllers and EBT card holders. In Los Angeles hot young Latinas are trying to buy groceries with their tramp stamps.
• Speaker Emerita Nancy Pelosi addressed reporters in Washington, DC, to announce her retirement from Congress. Let us all congratulate her on her 112 years of public service. Nancy was hospitalized in Europe last December while suffering from a dangerously low blood alcohol content.
• President Trump traveled to Florida to speak at the American Business Forum in Miami Beach. The beachfront property there has no room for anything but residences and hotels. It's a fact that there are no cemeteries in Miami Beach, they just seal up the door of your condominium.
• New York Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani gave a fiery and confrontational victory speech after his win Tuesday. He sounded like young Castro as he hammered home his socialist agenda. New York is going to be so much like Havana, if you want to buy a 1959 Chevy, they'll be all over the streets.
• New York Mayor elect Zohran Mamdani vowed to take on President Trump with a fiery victory speech Tuesday night. I take a much lighter view of the perceived threat to capitalism by his rise to power. Mamdani's election merely assures New Yorkers that we will never forget the heroes of 7-Eleven.
• Mamdani's anti-Trump socialist campaign win was reported Wednesday to have resulted in a real estate boom for suburban realtors as rich New Yorkers flee socialism. They want to escape the insanity. The CDC just approved moving to the suburbs as a vaccine for Trump Derangement Syndrome.
• Gavin Newsom backed Proposition 50's passage that redistricts 5 more seats to Democrats. It countered Texas Republicans doing the same stunt. California's Mexicans vote Democrat and Texas Mexicans vote Republican, and if we don't maintain this delicate balance it could destroy our democracy.
• President Trump agreed not to raise the 25% Mexico tariff on Corona beer, taco chips, salsa and guacamole pending negotiations. Pray for relief. It's already cheaper to fly to San Francisco and attend the 2026 Super Bowl than to sit in front of your TV and eat and drink your way through the game.
• NBC News reported the Pentagon plans to launch military raids into Mexico and attack drug cartels. Americans aren't welcome down there. Five years ago, Mexico's government legalized possession of user amounts of cocaine and now the border wall just serves to keep the Californians out.
• The Supreme Court weighed Trump's right to invoke emergency powers to impose tariffs or if Congress alone has that power. Through August, Trump's tariffs brought in $165 billion in customs duties. Congress passed a 47% tariff in 1860 to spark Secession if the Court wants to weigh success rates.
• Colossal Biosciences reports that Tom Brady cloned his late beloved pit bill mix Lulu. He now enjoys the company of her genetic duplicate Junie. Just in case this is a test run before Tom clones himself, the New England Patriots are moving heaven and earth to obtain the first pick in the 2048 draft.
(COMMENT, BELOW)