Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• Las Vegas is trying to lure back tourists after the steep drop in September visitors accelerated the citywide recession. Back in the 1980s, my best friend lost half his entire life's savings in just 30 minutes in Vegas and it still haunts him. To this day, he won't drive anywhere near that wedding chapel.

• Mississippi Department of Wildlife agents are searching for an infected primate that escaped from the animal lab truck that crashed Thursday. As of Saturday, the escaped chimpanzee infected with herpes and Covid is still at large. However it's polling ahead of Gavin and Kamala in the 2028 race.

• The National Audubon Society applauded US Senators who formed a Stewardship Committee to protect North American bird habitats. I totally understand why some men eventually decide to take up bird watching. A beautiful hummingbird would never run up the middle 3 times and then punt.

• US News and World Report released a global survey which ranks the U.S. as the world's third favorite country behind Switzerland and Japan, based on quality of life and cultural influence. Hey, nobody tops us. We live in a country where people use a $1,400 phone to check their food stamp balance.

• President Trump aboard Air Force One Wednesday laughed off warnings by Democrats that he plans to illegally run again in 2028. After the last 10 years of balls-to-the-wall-political combat, I don't think we should even elect a president in 2028. We need to be single a few years and find ourselves.

• The Senate chaplain in his opening prayer Friday pleaded with senators to vote to end the shutdown. It's time. I don't want to warn the Senate that the natives are starting to panic, but on Halloween night in Washington the kids were going door-to-door and shouting, Trick or Food Stamps!

• The Justice Department announced Saturday that FBI agents foiled a planned ISIS attack in Michigan plotted online for Halloween night by ISIS cells that had slipped into the country. An FBI official described ISIS as the network of death. Apparently he's never heard of Kaiser Permanente.

• President Trump posted a video Friday showing off his remodeling of the Lincoln Bedroom bathroom upstairs in the White House. It's renovated with white marble highlighted by gold accents and fixtures. In Lincoln's memory Trump freed all the contractors who did the work from ICE detention.

• President Trump is reported making plans to host King Charles for a state visit in 2026 to help honor America's 250th anniversary of America's independence declaration from Great Britain. The Special Relationship is strong. Any day now Prince Andrew could move into the White House East Wing.

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