When Animals Go Crackers

Ever wonder what they're saying in a box of animal crackers? Probably not. But I happened to listen in:

"We'd never be packed this way if we were Oreos."

"Your hoof is on my head."

"To you, it's a crumb — to me, it's my snout!"

"You try thinking out of the box."

"Ever done it with a three-legged giraffe?"

"It's like I'm dissolving in a moist red cave lined with big white blocks ... and then I wake up, screaming."

"If you're the king of beasts, how come your house is cardboard?

"Could somebody turn on a light?

"So I say to my shrink, 'Don't get me wrong — I'm 100% cracker! But ... sometimes I feel more like I'm a cookie.'"

"If I ever get my own place, it's going to be all cellophane."

"I'm not just good till Oct. 13, 2025, baby — I'm great!"

"I've been upside down for three months."

"At least on the ark, everyone had a date."

"Is there an orthopedic surgeon in the box?"

"Does it ever strike you weird that we're all the same size?"

"Watch out for the hippos — they're hungry."

"What I wouldn't give for a glass of milk!"

"Did anyone else just hear a cash register?"

"Why aren't there ever any plant crackers?"

"I hear that the world to come is a giant diaper bag."

"Yes, you are still a horsie, even if all that's left is your stomach."

"Anybody want to play pin the tail on, uh, me?"

"Would you say I'm golden, tan or beige?"

"Guys, I've got an escape plan. Sounds crazy, but it just might work."

"Do you mind not whistling?"

"You remind me of my best friend, who is also a zebra-shaped cookie."

"Ever think back to when you were just a happy-go-lucky blob of dough?"

"I'm not bland — I'm easy to digest."

"My aunt lived under a couch for three and a half years."

"Can we pleeeeease stop talking about the crunch to come?"

"I once met the Keebler Elf."

"What are you in for?"

"That's not my trunk you're holding, honey."