Monday

June 16th, 2025

Insight

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Argus Hamilton

By Argus Hamilton

Published Nov. 25, 2024

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

GET ARGUS' DAILY SMILES TO YOUR INBOX. SIGN UP FOR THE JWR UPDATE. IT'S FREE. (AND NO SPAM!) Just click here.

Jay Leno has bruised his face and needed an eye patch after he fell down a hill in Pittsburgh. Jay has burned his face working under a car, crashed his Harley, and smashed into rocks falling down a steep hill. NBC just updated Jay's current series Jay Leno's Garage and re-titled it Jay Leno's Triage.

USA Today reports thousands of congregations have recently left the Methodist Church over gay marriage. It's a resistance to the leftward shift in Protestantism. The Southern Baptist Convention issued a statement Sunday ruling that Baptists are still not allowed to dance unless it's the Trump Dance.

Vladimir Putin fired intermediate range missiles into Ukraine Thursday and blamed the U.S. for undermining international security by allowing Ukraine to fire U.S. ballistic missiles into Russia, Germany is refusing to provide long range missiles to Ukraine. They might land on London out of habit.

The Blackfoot Tribe is lobbying Congress to restore Redskins as the name of Washington's NFL team with their Chief's image on the logo. They were renamed the Commanders in 2021. The tribe rightly feels that its heritage was disrespected when the team was re-named after Joe Biden's attack dog.

President Biden returned from South America to celebrate his 82nd birthday Tuesday. Finally an explanation emerged as to why Biden, after addressing reporters in Brazil Monday, spun around and wandered off alone into the Amazon jungle. He had an appointment to see Bobby Kennedy's doctor.

WalMart CFO John David Rainey on Thursday said Trump's tariffs on China if enacted would cause higher retail prices at WalMart. In addition he announced a new WalMart employee holiday policy. WalMart will be closed on Christmas Day, allowing, both cashiers to be home with their families.

The Christian Science Monitor reports evangelical parents are suing California in federal court to allow religious coursework in charter schools. In our everyday lives, Californians live by a simple theology. Do something kind for someone in need today, then let everyone on social media know about it.

Ellen DeGeneres announced in California Tuesday she's selling her Montecito estate and moving to England because of the election of Donald Trump. Coincidentally Ellen's maid, gardener and pool boy are moving to Guatemala because of the election of Donald Trump. They just don't know it yet.

The Weather Channel warned the West Coast that a winter front is set to dump a destructive rain storm on Los Angeles today. It's why I keep both a Kamala sign and a Trump sign on my front lawn. The Harris sign guarantees me FEMA rescue from flooding and the Trump sign lets looters know I'm armed.

President Biden on his 82nd birthday Wednesday authorized Ukraine to fire U.S. ballistic missiles at Russia, risking a U.S.-Russia nuclear war. It's history in the making. A nuclear war would put Joe Biden one-up on Nelson Rockefeller who died while having sex, if your purpose is to go out with a bang.

Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov warned the world Tuesday that President Biden is risking a war between Russia and NATO by allowing Ukraine to fire long-range U.S. ballistic missiles into Russia. Did you hear about Biden's peace plan for Chicago? He's sending Glock 9's to the South Side.

Bobby Kennedy was photographed aboard Trump's airliner Friday eating a Happy Meal which he's in the past labeled as poison, but he's not kidding. Bobby promised to get rid of unhealthy breakfast cereals, especially the ones that are target-marketed to the inner city. They go Snap, Crackle and No Pop.

(COMMENT, BELOW)

Columnists

Toons