Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• The NFL stated Tuesday the league has no problem with players performing the Trump Dance when celebrating. The Democrats get equal time. Three players suffered concussions on the field Sunday and staggered to the sideline in what's come to be known around the league as the Biden Dance.

• Bill Clinton released his new book Citizen in book stores Friday. His time in office was pure joy for comics. I don't know how the Presidents Day holiday intended to honor Washington and Lincoln ended up being a celebration honoring mattress sales, but it likely had something to do with Bill Clinton.

• Netflix reported its boxing match between Jake Paul and Mike Tyson Friday set a world record for the most- streamed sporting event with 108 million viewers. It tied another record. Madonna's boyfriend and Jake Paul are now the only two 27-year-olds ever to go eighteen minutes with a pensioner.

• Comcast Universal was reported Tuesday set to spin off MSNBC onto its own and out from under the corporate umbrella of Universal Studios and NBC News. Their TV ratings cratered after Trump got elected. In a related story, Chris Wallace announced he's leaving CNN to start a paper route.

• MSNBC co-hosts Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski stunned viewers Monday revealing they went to Mar a Lago. They met with Trump to discuss future friendly interviews on MSNBC. Joe and Mika said there are no hard feelings and invite you to watch their new morning show Coffee with Hitler.

• President Trump flew to Brownsville, Texas, with Elon Musk to observe Elon's Starship launch into sub-orbit, as passenger space flights loom in the future. Privatization will allow the very rich to buy tickets to fly into outer space. It gives billionaires a much-needed alternative to death by submarine.

• President Biden was asked by a reporter on Thursday if the Mideast hostages might be released soon and Joe asked the reporter if she might get hit in the back of the head by the camera behind her. No one's apologized for his gaffe. People who use the wrong words should have the humidity to admit it.

• Attorney General pick Matt Gaetz is under a House Ethics probe for alleged cocaine use and underage sex that accelerated after he opposed risking World War III in Ukraine. Don't be a square, kids. It may sound like I'm advocating drug use, but Baby Boomers know what young people don't know, namely the endorphin rush you get when you wake up alive after playing a game of nuclear chicken with Russia.

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