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• The Hollywood Reporter listed 84 actors, actresses and singers who publicly vowed to leave the country if Trump got elected. Celebrities failed to connect with voters on the campaign trail this year, nobody is buying what they are selling. They might as well be selling beepers door-to-door in Gaza.
• Eva Longoria declared she and her family are leaving the U.S. and moving to Mexico Thursday because of the election of Donald Trump. She's lucky. During his first term, Congress wouldn't let Trump finish building the border wall so there are plenty of open spaces for Eva to slip back through.
• Daily Variety reported that the TV ratings for CNN have crashed since the election and that MSNBC viewership is so low the network is for sale. The venerable Chris Wallace announced Thursday that after three years he's leaving CNN. This surprised network executives who'd forgotten he was there.
• President Biden smiled broadly for the cameras when he greeted Trump at the White House last week. This meeting is always held between the incoming president and outgoing president. Thousands of tourists lined up outside the White House fence hoping to see the traditional Exchanging of the Pardons.
• Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy were tasked by Trump to form an agency to root out all the financial waste and mismanagement in federal agencies. Some of them are doing well. Last year, the U.S. Postal Service reported losing $6.5 billion making it by far the most profitable branch of the government.
• The Economist warns a roaring Trump economy could cause more inflation that will keep home mortgage rates high. In today's world, if you borrow money from a bank, you have to spend the next 30 years paying it off, but if you rob a bank, you're out in 10 years. Follow me for more financial advice.
• Bobby Kennedy was named HHS Secretary and he's vowed to go after the red dye and unhealthy processed sugar in America's favorite candies and cereals. That's politics in a nutshell for you. No sooner do the Democrats legalize marijuana than the Republicans come along and outlaw the munchies.
• Bobby Kennedy vowed to make America healthy again by promoting natural foods. It inspired me so last night I made a chicken parmesan with mushrooms that I foraged locally. Not only was it delicious, but a choir of elephants sang the entire Bat Out of Hell album accompanied by a light show.
• South Dakota's Governor Kristy Noem was nominated by Donald Trump to be the next Director of Homeland Security. It includes supervision immigration customs and border. In a promise to reduce costs, Kristy Noem has pledged to eliminate the number of police dogs and drug-sniffing dogs personally.
• Matt Gaetz was nominated for Attorney General by Trump despite the cloud over his head. Last year the FBI dropped its probe of Gaetz for transporting a high school girl across state lines but the House Ethics Committee is still looking into it. During Covid, Matt tested positive for She Wasn't-19.
• Mexico President Claudia Sheinbaum posted a video Thursday in which she promised to defend Mexican families in the U.S. in the face of a tighter border policy. I don't get the hysteria. People in Los Angeles love the Mexican people as long as they come here legally through the Dodgers farm system.
• The Washington Post reported that security plans for Donald Trump's Inaugural ceremony are already underway in Washington. Our expectations of a new administration never change. Everyone expects to become skinny and rich during the next four years, or we're throwing them out for lying to us.
• Donald Trump won Arizona and Nevada this week giving him 312 Electoral College votes, ending the 2024 election. Americans for six months were bombarded and tormented by political ads, but it's finally over. This frees us up for the next six weeks of being bombarded and tormented by Mariah Carey.
• The L.A. Ballet is rehearsing for its annual Christmas holiday staging of the Nutcracker Suite at the Wilshire Theater in December. The name confuses many. Studio producers and agents assume for their own safety that the Nutcracker Suite is the name of Gloria Allred's law offices in Beverly Hills.
• NBC News reported on a million-dollar government program in which the FDA is studying to see if quail are more sexually promiscuous if cocaine is sprinkled into their bird food, using cocaine that was left over from DEA raids. It raised a loud question in Hollywood. What the hell is leftover cocaine?
• President Biden was taken to task by MSNBC pundits this week for being so smiling and cheerful since the election. It must be endorphins. The White House press secretary reported that on Tuesday President Biden had a meeting with a fascist dictator in the Oval Office for two hours and they got along.
• President Biden met Donald Trump at the White House where they met in front of a roaring fire in the Oval Office for two hours. From the start of the meeting, they got along just great. Trump brought in the sack of groceries that Joe had left outside on the front porch and completely forgot about.
• Melania Trump refused to attend tea with Jill Biden Wednesday as her protest for the FBI raid on Mar a Lago when the FBI agents went rummaging through her panties and bras before leaving. It wasn't just sick, it was cheap. The sign in the Mar a Lago gift shop clearly states You Sniff It, You Buy It.
• President Biden left Washington for a trip to Brazil to attend the APEC Summit of Asian-Pacific leaders in Rio. Being in Brazil could well remind Biden of when he got thrown off the ticket last summer. The difference between the United States and Brazil is 1,500 arrests within 48 hours of the coup.
• Donald Trump roiled the Establishment in Washington Wednesday by nominating Matt Gaetz to be the Trump administration's Attorney General. The GOP Congressman is widely regarded as brilliant but he's a little socially immature. Matt Gaetz didn't have a high school girlfriend till he was 38.
• Donald Trump named four cabinet nominees from the roster of Fox News stars. He even named their commercial pitch man. Trump nominated Mike Huckabee to be our Ambassador to Israel, and if there's one thing the Middle East needs right now it's a peaceful night's sleep provided by Relaxium
• Donald Trump alarmed the defense establishment Wednesday by nominating Tulsi Gabbard to be Director of National Intelligence, who is a vocal opponent of supporting the Ukraine war. A poll showed 80% of Americans can't find Ukraine on an unmarked map. They are really ahead of their time.
• Governor Gavin Newsom called a special session of the California legislature this week in order to pass laws that he says will Trump-proof California. Californians do NOT want lower taxes, less business regulation and safer streets or everybody will want to live here. The traffic is bad enough as it is.
• Elon Musk and billionaire and former presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy were named by Trump to head the new Department of Government Efficiency. They have been tasked to eradicate government waste. Any federal workers willing to help out have been asked to submit their resignations.
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