Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• Canada's ex-prime minister Justin Trudeau is reported in a relationship with US pop star Katy Perry. He's part of the reason why a lot of L.A. Dodgers fans traveled to Toronto to watch the World Series games there. Fall is the perfect time to go up to Canada and watch Justin Trudeau change colors.

• Operation Royal Flush rocked the NBA uncovering a gambling scandal Thursday. The Mafia and NBA players conspired to cheat unwitting victims in big-stakes poker. It involved four of the five New York City Mafia families and NBA players, each of whom have four or five families themselves.

• French police arrested suspects in last week's brazen Louvre Museum jewelry heist in Paris Saturday. The diamond necklaces and bracelets were stolen by undetected burglars who slipped into the museum unnoticed past museum guards. It appears the Biden border security team found work at the Louvre.

• CNN reports a boom in men enlisting obedient AI girlfriends for romantic relationships. Wait until banks use them to drum up business. We'll soon see online ads pop up starring AI models in bikinis asking single senior men to consider whether a Reverse Cowgirl Mortgage might be right for you.

• President Trump spent his first hours at the Southeast Asian Nations summit in Malaysia officiating over a peace treaty he brokered between Thailand and Cambodia. The leader of Cambodia nominated Trump for next year's Nobel Peace Prize awards ceremony. It's an annual event Trump now celebrates as Passover.

• Malaysian officials told Reuters they hope Trump's trip there will spur US tourism to Southeast Asia. When I flew there I remember the pilot announced that in case we needed to crash land on the water to place our heads between our legs. I thought, if I could do that, I wouldn't be going to Thailand.

• President Trump spoke to reporters aboard Air Force One en route to Malaysia on Saturday and asked that they put out the word that he'd like to meet with North Korea's Kim Jong Un during the trip. It makes sense they'd get along. Trump and Kim Jong Un share the same enemy, Super Cuts.

• Kamala Harris's campaign memoir was reported selling well as Karine Jean Pierre launched her own book tour. They're not the only members of the last administration that landed on their feet after the election loss. It appears that Hunter Biden landed a gig as Admiral of the Venezuelan Fleet.

• Nancy Pelosi went on the warpath against ICE raids in California Friday. She demands that Los Angeles and San Francisco police arrest ICE agents as they carry out Trumps orders to seize and to deport illegal migrants. Nancy's credo is No Kings, but a little Crown Royal never killed anybody.

• Johns Hopkins doctors issued a study urging every man over age 45 to undergo a colonoscopy exam to screen annually for colon cancer. The idea is to employ regular preventative care to help avoid future medical problems. I just got the results back from my colonoscopy and they found my head.

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