Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• Taylor Swift released her new album of Life of a Showgirl, which set a first-day record for sales. This past week, Taylor caught a lot of grief from the climate change crowd for her use of her private jet. Hey I also own a private jet, but the rest of the Jacuzzi belongs to the apartment building.

• President Trump had a very friendly meeting with Canada Prime Minister Mark Carney in the Oval Office Monday. However he was not in a mood for a new trade deal with Canada. The night before, the Toronto Blue Jays blasted the New York Yankees 13-7 in the AL playoffs, 26-7 with the tariffs.

• Amazon removed the gun from all the James Bond movie posters they show for DVD sales. It caused a lot of people to demand their money back. People who viewed the poster for License to Kill with no gun in the photo just assumed it was a comedy about Asian drivers, and ordered the movie.

• The New York Post reported a bizarre study by a DNA research lab claiming space aliens may have abducted some humans and inserted their alien DNA into them. It would result in genetic mutations. I didn't think much of it at first until I went to WalMart after midnight, and now I believe it.

• Kamala Harris launched into a vulgar rant against the Trump Administration while plugging her memoir. She was appearing at an event called Day of Unreasonable Conversation at the Getty Center in L.A. I don't know about her future plans, but 2028 appears to be her blood alcohol level.

• Justice Kavanaugh's would-be assassin was given only eight years in prison Friday. The guy's defense was he was erratic because he was transitioning from male to female and not thinking clearly. Within the hour, an L.A. judge heard a new motion for prison release from the Menendez Sisters.

• Governor Pritzker said Trump is breaking the law sending the Guard to Chicago. If it's illegal for a president to send in the Guard over a state governor's objection, I guess Southern schools can return to form. Next fall Alabama might be fielding their slowest team since the Kennedy Administration.

• Chicago's Mayor Brandon Johnson addressed the media Monday and predicted the far-right plans to re-fight the Civil War. And sure enough, the next day, the Texas National Guard arrived in Illinois. Brandon just got a call from Nancy Pelosi asking him which stock he likes on the Big Board.

• Attorney General Pam Bondi testified before the Senate Tuesday where fireworks flew over the FBI wiretapping nine GOP senators in January 2021. G od knows what blackmail they might have obtained. Every state in the Union has two senators, so that one can be the designated driver that night.

• Morgan Stanley's latest US Consumer Pulse Survey reported some good economic news Monday, revealing that public concern about inflation is at its lowest point in over three years. Maybe we're just used to ridiculously high prices. I was going to move back in with my parents but I can't afford the plot.

• Jerry Jones was fined $250,000 for waving a middle finger at New York Jets fans from his box at the Jets home field Sunday. He said Monday he was giving home fans in Dallas the thumbs up after a TD and used the wrong finger. That's the best joke since Pam Bondi said she left the Epstein files on her desk, but I guess her dog ate the files, then a Haitian ate the dog, now we'll never know who's on the list.

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