First-World Dilemmas; They Don't Make 'Drug Lords' Like They Used To

• Plastic surgeons, first in University of Missouri research in 2000 and recently in a study by Singapore doctors in the journal of the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, have postulated that the "ideal" navel is basically vertically shaped with slight hooding -- and, of course, an "innie."

The earlier study "analyzed" photos of 147 females aged 18 to 62, while the Singapore surgeons gazed at shots of 37 Playboy playmates and used a computerized tool to measure "vertical ratio," "midline horizontal position," length "from the xiphoid process ... to the lower limit of the vulvar cleft," and how nearly oval-shaped the belly buttons were. [Today.com (NBC News), 8-22-2014]

• (1) Widely feared Jamaican drug kingpin Christopher "Dudus" Coke was arrested and extradited to New York City after being picked up wearing women's clothes and a too-small 1970s-style Afro wig.

The Jamaica Observer reported that Coke wet his pants as he was arrested. (2) Longtime South African drug lord Fadwaan "Fat" Murphy, speaking at a bail hearing in Cape Town, disclosed that he was born a hermaphrodite and has a separate identity ("Hilary"), which puzzled arresting officers, who had discovered that Murphy was wearing a strap-on penis.

Murphy was insistent. "I look like a man. I talk like a man. I am a man."

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