Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• Bill Belichick's college coaching debut was a disaster Monday night when North Carolina was destroyed in a home game with TCU. It ddn't stop there. Bill's 24-year-old fiancĂ©e Jordan Hudson entered the transfer portal after UNC's blowout loss and announced that she's now dating Barry Switzer.

• The Oklahoma Sooners host the Michigan Wolverines Saturday in a clash between two of the top winning records in college football history. They're also great party schools. It was during college football season I learned to take life with a grain of salt, followed by a bite of lemon and a shot of tequila.

• The National Football League 2025 season gets started tonight when the Philadelphia Eagles host the Dallas Cowboys at Lincoln Financial Field. Philly has the angriest fan base in all three major sports. To stay in practice in the off-season, Philadelphia fans go to the airport to boo the safe landings.

• Rosie O'Donnell posted an apology Tuesday for claiming over the weekend the transgender female church shooter in Minneapolis last week shooter was a Republican MAGA white guy. The public outrage over his mis-identification was so widespread that Rosie's AI girlfriend broke up with her.

• Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson and Illinois Governor JB Pritzker shared a stage Monday to vow defiance of Trump putting the National Guard in Chicago. Johnson called any deployment racist. Governor Pritzker said that murders are down in Chicago, adding that he's down to 160 pounds.

• Illinois Governor Pritzker tried to shame ICE out of going in Chicago to pick up illegal aliens by reminding TV viewers that September is Hispanic Heritage Month. It lasts from September 15th to October 15th. That makes it the only ethnic heritage month which crosses the border into the next month.

• The Pentagon aired video Tuesday of a US airstrike off Caracas destroying a Venezuelan speedboat carrying tons of drugs. The crew and the contraband were blown into the Caribbean. I'll be watching next week's episode of Shark Week to see if the sharks go after the cocaine or the Venezuelans.

• President Trump was questioned by reporters Tuesday about whether he plans to send in the National Guard to Chicago which had 8 murders and 58 wounded last weekend. However I think a good argument can be made against sending US forces into Chicago. For starters they'd be outgunned.

• US Rep. Rashida Talib compared Israeli policy in Gaza to the Third Reich in a fiery speech in Detroit Tuesday. Lately I've been racking my brain trying to think of just one person, place or thing that the Radical Left has NOT compared to the Nazis. When she said Israel, I wanted to shout Bingo!

• President Trump announced Tuesday that Space Force headquarters is moved to Huntsville, Alabama. He drew laughter by saying from now on Huntsville will be called Rocket City. While on a roll, he then renamed New York, Chicago, Detroit, San Francisco and L.A. the Nut Job Archipelago.

• President Trump explained an AI video of trash coming out of a White House window saying the windows are all bullet-proofed shut. They are bullet-proof since 1994 when a sniper fired 29 shots at the White House trying to kill Bill Clinton that struck just outside the bedroom window where Hillary was sleeping. The Secret Service got the biggest laugh of the year by stating Bill was never in any danger.

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