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• Daily Variety reports a huge jump in TV ratings last weekend as sports fans tuned in to watch college football's top schools play each other. Not all the quarterbacks lived up to their pre-season expectation. Peyton and Eli Manning called a press conference Monday to reveal that Arch was adopted.
• Charlie Sheen stars in a Netflix documentary next week about his rollicking path to sobriety in Hollywood. He and I got well for the same reason — we were given no choice. Congratulating an alcoholic for getting sober is like congratulating a cowboy who has hemorrhoids for getting off his horse.
• Rosie O'Donnell apologized for wrongly saying the Catholic church shooter was a white male MAGA. The former panelist on The View said that she moved to Ireland to get away from Trump's America. Her maid and gardener in Hollywood are moving back to Guatemala, they just don't know it yet.
• Golden Globe-winning actress Robin Wright announced she has fled America for England to work there instead. Streaming has so diffused production that practically everyone in Hollywood is working for minimum union scale wages. Buses now take fans on Tours of the Stars' Studio Apartments.
• Fox News and MSNBC commentators waged war last week over the effectiveness of thoughts and prayers for the victims of tragedies. Californians got the good news on Saturday that thoughts and prayers are no longer necessary. Gavin Newsom announced a plan to build a high-speed rail to Heaven.
• President Trump announced he will allow 300,000 Chinese students to attend colleges in the US. It's a mixed bag. There's a debate over whether raising campus grade point averages by enrolling Chinese students is worth doubling our auto insurance rates for collision coverage and vehicle damage.
• President Trump's policies were negated by Democratic US judges last week. Partisanship rules the day. A DC judge ruled Trump's tariffs are illegal, a New York judge ruled he can't deport Venezuelans and a San Francisco judge ordered Trump to not to turn his head during the next assassination attempt.
• Bobby Kennedy will face a severe grilling from Democrats in the Senate Finance Committee Thursday over the resignations in the CDC. He's no friend to Big Pharma. It was reported Monday that new findings link Ozempic to vision loss, which takes don't look at the donuts to a whole new level.
• Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent warned Russia Monday that punitive sanctions are coming. Past business boycotts have backfired. Right after the 2022 invasion, McDonald's, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell and Pepsi pulled out of Russia and today Russians are healthier than they've ever been their entire lives.
• Forbes magazine reports that tariffs totaling 50% on goods from India kicked in on Wednesday, an added 25% penalty for buying Russian oil. India's retaliation against the US was brutal. I called India for tech support this morning and for 30 minutes their on-hold music was the Kars-for-Kids Song.
• The Daily Mail reports that a violent earthquake measuring a magnitude of 6.0 on the Richter scale shook eastern Afghanistan Sunday, devastating remote villages. It's the country's most violent earthquake in a decade. Taliban scientists confirm it was caused by allowing girls to go to school.
• The Powerball Lottery jackpot prize amount soared to a billion dollars for Monday's drawing in Florida. Studies show the average winner spends it all in 5 years, which sounds about right. If you take your most sinful trait and sprinkle a billion dollars on it you realize that 5 years is a pretty good run.
• The Hollywood Reporter reports that Tom Cruise's movie from 2 years ago, Top Gun Maverick, refuses to go away and just blasted to the top of the streaming charts. For a guy who's been a movie star for forty years, have to admire his stamina. I can't believe Tom Cruise still does his own Scientology.
• The 2025 NFL season kicks off Thursday night when the Philadelphia Eagles host the Dallas Cowboys. At season's end the Super Bowl will be held this year in Santa Clara. The Super Bowl is always played on the first Sunday in February, a date which Dallas Cowboy fans observe as Passover.
• Texas Longhorns QB Arch Manning reportedly leads all college players in NIL money with $6.8 million this year. His uncles are Hall of Fame quarterbacks Eli and Peyton Manning who won three Super Bowls. And his granddad is NFL quarterback Archie Manning, who won the Breeder's Cup.
• Bar Rescue podcast host and restaurant critic Jon Taffer said the CEO and marketing team at Cracker Barrel should be fired for causing the logo disaster. I overheard on CNBC that the CEO of Cracker Barrel was once the CEO of Taco Bell. Neither restaurant wanted Texas to remain in the Union.
• Homeland Security reported Friday deporting 350,000 illegal migrants in the first seven months of the Trump Administration. They aren't kidding around. Last week I called the White House while the operators were too busy to answer and the recorded voice said to Press 1 for English and Press 2 for ICE.
• People magazine reported on the oldest family reunion in America since 1853, the Siler Family in North Carolina. They're a lot of laughs. As late as 20 years ago, at family reunions I had an aunt who would always tell me that she knew me since I was THIS high, and she'd pretend to pass out at the table.
• Al Sharpton led a march of angry civil rights protestors down Wall Street in New York City on Friday to protest against corporations dropping DEI hiring programs. The White House was first to drop them. So far the Trump Administration's only DEI program has been to paint the border wall black.
• President Trump revoked Secret Service protection for former vice president Kamala Harris on Thursday, which normally ends after six months, but Biden had extended it a year. In response, the California Highway Patrol launched an operation to protect Kamala Harris. It's called CHIPs and Dip.
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