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• The New Jersey Star Ledger on Thursday noted the Garden State's contribution to the history of music. The newspaper reported that Thursday marked the date that John Philip Sousa and his band performed for the first time in 1892 in Plainfield. They were the opening act for the Rolling Stones.
• The White House expressed full support of Ukraine against Russia Thursday. At a Pennsylvania ammunition factory the day before, Democrats autographed missiles for Ukraine to fire into Russia, risking World War III. To lighten the mood, I'd like to remind Germany that the third time's the charm.
• Kamala Harris gave her first live, in-depth television interview to MSNBC on Wednesday with MSNBC host Stephanie Ruhle. It finished 13th in the ratings, but I give the candidate credit. It took a lot of courage for Kamala to leave her husband at home alone for 90 minutes during Nanny Season.
• Donald Trump told reporters Thursday that assassination attempts won't scare him away from campaigning. The FBI said there are five teams in the U.S. tasked to assassinate Trump even after the last two failed attempts to shoot him. If nothing else, Chicago should name him Viking of the Week.
• Israel bombed Hezbollah in Lebanon Thursday after Hezbollah fired rockets on Tel Aviv. Israel took it to the next level two weeks ago by attacking Hezbollah with exploding pagers and walkie-talkies. Just to be on the safe side Hezbollah has advised its women not to use vibrators for the foreseeable future.
• New York Mayor Eric Adams was indicted by the Department of Justice Thursday one year after he ripped the White House for the border invasion. Eric Adams is being charged with acting as an unlicensed agent for a foreign country. Which for a New Yorker could mean doing business with the United States.
• Mayor Eric Adams refused to resign from office after he was indicted Thursday. This year, New York juries indicted a Senator, a billionaire, a hip hop mogul, an ex-president and the NY mayor. Today the U.S. Attorney told the Skipper and Mary Ann not to get any fancy ideas, like trying to escape from the island.
• Governor Gavin Newsom signed a bill requiring all janitors, many of them migrants, to enroll in a sexual harassment training class. The least they could do is pull their jeans up before they bend over in front of you. The law doesn't cover a crackdown on illegal aliens, but it might cover the crack up.
• Nancy Pelosi's husband Paul Pelosi sold 5,000 shares of Visa stock just before the DOJ filed an anti-trust suit against Visa. He made a killing. When House and Senate members are sworn in, they place their right hand over their hearts and recite that it's only insider trading if you get caught.
• The White House hosted the cast of The West Wing in honor of the 25th anniversary of the long-running ABC hit series set at the White House with Martin Sheen as president. He's always been a man ahead of his time. Forty-five years ago Martin Sheen was in Apocalypse Now, and today, we all are.
• The Centers for Disease Control reports that obesity rates declined in the U.S. this year for the first time in decades. The White House should not try to take credit for it. How do you expect to maintain obesity rates when grocery prices are up 50% and gas prices are so high, everybody's walking?
• President Biden enjoyed a triumphant appearance on ABC's Ladies of the View Wednesday where Whoopi, Joy, Sunny and the panel made Biden feel right at home. It was his day. Joe had just delivered an inspirational speech to the U.N. in which he demanded the return of the ostriches.
• Kamala Harris gave a speech in Pittsburgh Wednesday laying out her economic policies. She warned that Trump tax cuts will only benefit the rich at the expense of the poor. For instance, the Democrats point out that if public libraries are defunded, the homeless will have no place to watch porn.
• Donald Trump mocked Kamala for falsely claiming she worked at McDonald's and cooked the fries, and he said he'll go to a McDonald's and cook and eat the fries. Both parties will be watching. After 2 failed assassination attempts, the Democrats are pretty much down to rooting for clogged arteries.
• The Washington Post reports that Kamala Harris likes to add a cube of ice to her glass of wine when served a bottle in Washington, D.C., restaurants. Wine connoisseurs are taught to first open the bottle and allow the wine to breathe. And if it doesn't look like it's breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth.
• Donald Trump said Wednesday 21 million illegals entered the U.S. in the last three years. It's true that the number of border crossers hit a low in Trump's last year 2020 but it was during the pandemic. So few people crossed the border during Covid we just hoped they were bringing toilet paper.
• US News and World Report reports that Donald Trump's poll numbers are surging and leads in Sun Belt states by as many as five points, motivating Kamala's decision to visit the border today. She can't wait to meet Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. They both changed their color to liven up a party.
• Donald Trump vented his frustration over the leftist talk show hosts like Colbert and Kimmel Monday. He absentmindedly demanded that NBC bring back Johnny Carson. I knew and loved Johnny, and believe me, if he didn't come back from the dead to tell Joe Biden jokes, he's gone for good.
• Senate Republicans blasted Homeland Security for not detaining Trump's would-be assassin Ryan Routh when they'd been flagging his every phone call and text worldwide. I'm switching back to using a Huawei Phone. I'd rather have the Chinese government monitoring my activity than my own.
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