Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY JWR UPDATE. IT'S FREE. (AND NO SPAM!) Just click here.

• Daily Variety reports Stephen Colbert will appear on the hit CBS detective series Elsbeth in the season opener and play a talk show host who gets murdered. His death isn't much of a mystery. After the first commercial break they show him President Trump's approval rating and he drops to the ground.

• Billboard reports that the MTV Vocal music Awards are scheduled for September 7th and will air on CBS for the first time, and the show will be simulcast on MTV and Paramount. Coincidentally it so happens that this week marks the 44th anniversary of MTV. Thank you for 19 years of great music!

• The Weather Channel reports a cold front from Canada set record-low August temperatures from Oklahoma to Georgia. And speaking of Canada, the NWS reported Monday that there are currently 738 wildfires burning in Canada, which is a sign of the times. Even fire is leaving California.

• The Census Bureau reports the U.S. is on track for the first time to achieve negative migration with more people leaving the US than arriving. We're not that welcome. Mexico City residents are sick and tired of arriving Americans who ask them for their Wi-Fi password and directions to Taco Bell.

• The Times of India says a 2-year-old boy in India killed a cobra that slithered too close to him by biting it so hard it died. If this doesn't prove reincarnation, what does? Ozzy dies, then two weeks later he comes back in his next life as a baby, bites off the head of a snake and breaks the Internet again.

• The Wall Street Journal reported that the International Longshoremen's Association reached agreement with the U.S. Maritime Alliance and avoided a strike at ports. In other labor news the factory workers who make Boeing Airliners went on strike Monday. The skies have never been safer.

• The Daily Mail reports 18 Nordic distilleries have combined to promote Nordic whisky brands on the world stage. It was reported Monday Finland had to recall a new brand of whisky when it was found to contain car anti-freeze. I guess if you drink too much of it you have to go to AAA meetings.

• President Trump approved Sydney Sweeney bragging about her great jeans in the American Eagle ad since she's a Republican. The woke mob is always attacking white privilege. If they had their way TCM would apologize for airing My Fair Lady on Sunday night and re-title it Pretty Girls Are Nazis.

• Senator Hawley introduced the Pelosi Bill that bans D.C. lawmakers from stock market trades after Nancy Pelosi made $400 million on stock trades. Her investment returns are enormous. I say for the good of the country, we should drop all charges and appoint Nancy the Commissioner of Social Security.

• Texas House Democrats fled to Illinois to avoid a quorum where Governor Pritzer welcomed them at the Chicago Hilton. Four of the last ten Illinois governors went to prison. Illinois is the only state where the governor rides around in a limo that bears a license plate made by the previous governor.

• US News and World Report cited the World's Best Countries survey which found out that the favorite country of Americans is England. I inherited one hostile trait from my British ancestors. I took two years of French in high school so I could refuse to speak it rather than just not understand it.

(COMMENT, BELOW)