Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• The New York Times cited a survey claiming a ten percent drop in violent crimes in big cities this year, prompting critics to say the crimes just go unreported. Far too many crimes go unsolved. Just last week Bob Barker died in Los Angeles and police are questioning a Rottweiler that was recently neutered.

• Bob Barker died in L.A. Saturday, twenty years after he retired from a fifty-year run hosting game shows including The Price is Right. Bob Barker died at the age of ninety-nine and nine months, just three months shy of a hundred. That's about as close as you can get to one hundred without going over.

• Congress will investigate Pentagon whistleblower testimony that the U.S. possesses crashed UFOs and dead space aliens. It's an attempt to change our culture. At the very least, Homeland Security must close our southern border to space aliens considering how much flying saucers look like sombreros.

• The Times of India reports hundreds of millions of Indians stayed up late Tuesday to watch India become the first nation in history to land a spacecraft safely on the south pole of the moon. It is both thrilling and puzzling. Scientists cannot explain the sudden swarm of flies on the south pole of the moon.

• Donald Trump's GOP campaign raised seven million dollars in one day Saturday selling t-shirts bearing Trump's mug shot above the inscription Never Surrender! That t-shirt could get Trump sued. Never Surrender! was Georgia's state motto for over a hundred years and the trademark hasn't run out.

• Hunter Biden fled all the White House scrutiny to rent a house in Malibu this week. If the FBI found donut crumbs in Chris Christie's house or vodka spilled on Nancy Pelosi's carpet, they would know whose it was. But finding cocaine in a cokehead's house is the next episode of Unsolved Mysteries.

• President Biden while vacationing in Lake Tahoe Friday was asked by reporters if he’d seen Trump’s mugshot. The president grinned and said yes, he’s seen the mug shot and that Trump is a handsome, good-looking man. When a pit bull is licking you, he is not being friendly, he is basting you. President Biden just enjoyed a relaxing week while on vacation in Lake Tahoe. He'd also gone on vacation the week before to his beach house in Delaware. President Biden is under fire for going on vacation for a second time in one month, but to be fair, he doesn't remember his first vacation.

• Senator Bernie Sanders caused a panic among Democrats Saturday by going to New Hampshire and giving a campaign-style speech. He's a life-long committed socialist. When Bernie was a kid and he and his pals used to play Cowboys and Indians, Bernie always played the Chinese railroad worker.

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