Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• Anheuser Busch heir Billy Busch offered to buy back the brewery that bears his family's name to restore Budweiser's brand after its disastrous transgender marketing foray. It did inspire thousands of men to alter their personalities. I now identify as This Little Piggy and my pronouns are We/We/We.

• President Biden flew to Lake Tahoe after some painful ad-libbing at a Maui disaster memorial service. Hawaii just declared Biden's condolence speech a disaster, and that was before he went to sleep onstage. Joe Biden is the only guy who goes to a memorial service and has to show ID to get out.

• President Biden's trip to Hawaii to see Maui fire damage was greeted with local anger over the slow response. It didn't look good on TV when Biden fell asleep onstage during the Maui memorial service. His campaign fears Joe may have lost half the Democratic Party if they thought he was praying.

• Samsung cut off ties with Megan Rapinoe Tuesday, costing her fifty million dollars because she refused to stand for the National Anthem. Why are Southerners still afraid to play Dixie in public if the anti-American Left refuses to honor the National Anthem? Dixie might be welcomed as the Middle Way.

• The Wall Street Journal reported that the interest rates for home owners have risen to the point where a financial bubble could burst and cause a market crash as it did fifteen years ago. However there's one upside. Yesterday my mortgage identified as a student loan, and now I'm finally home free.

• Donald Trump could be fingerprinted and forced to stand for mug shots when he is arraigned this week in Georgia for trying to overthrow the state's 2020 election results. Trump has agreed to surrender himself in Atlanta on Thursday. To accommodate Democrats, this will happen at CNN Plaza.

• Fox News hosted the first GOP candidates' debate Wednesday with Donald Trump skipping the event in Milwaukee. Trump's chief tormentor, Chris Christie was lucky to even make it to the debate. Earlier in the day, he was campaigning in a working class neighborhood and got stuck in a small house.

• Hunter Biden was reported living in the White House the last two months. It recalled that when the Comedy Store owner Mitzi Shore broke up with me in 1986 and sent me off to rehab, I wanted to sue her for palimony. When she kicked me out of the house I gave up a promising career as a parasite.

• President Biden was slammed for addressing a Maui memorial service and comparing the fire disaster to a kitchen fire he had in 2004 he said nearly spread to his Corvette in the garage. How bad was media reaction? It was described as the most embarrassing thing President Biden has done all day.

• Hawaii's Democratic governor Josh Green quickly blamed the fiery conflagration that burned up the island of Maui three weeks ago on climate change. Oddly enough that could be true. Liquor stores around Blue State forests now sell Climate Change Matches, for when the narrative isn't working.

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