February 24th, 2021


Least Competent Criminals | Taking the side of the burglar

News of the Weird by Chuck Shepherd

By News of the Weird by Chuck Shepherd

Published August 24, 2016

Least Competent Criminals |  Taking the side of the burglar

Suspected drug possessor Darius Dabney finally confessed after a protracted confrontation with the judge in a Cincinnati courtroom in May -- a showdown initiated when the judge noticed an "overwhelming" smell of marijuana accompanying Dabney as he entered the room.

Upon extensive questioning (according to a transcript provided by WXIX-TV), Dabney swore that he had no drugs -- though the penalty for lying would be immediate jailing, but producing the drugs voluntarily would result only in their being confiscated, without charges.

One more chance, the exhausted, super-patient judge implored, just to be sure. Dabney then sheepishly pulled out a bag of marijuana. "Finally, you come clean," said the judge. "Are you sure (now)?" Dabney then pulled out another bag. "Oh, my lord," said the judge, who still kept his word and only found Dabney in contempt for "coming to court high." [WXIX-TV (Cincinnati), 5-12-2016]

In the most recent instance of a landlord ordering a resident to make his home safe for burglars, Kevin Sheehan of Abingdon, England, was told by his housing association in May that he would be evicted unless he removed his above-ground backyard fish pond (and relocated the 80 koi carp and goldfish). The landlord was concerned that if a trespasser jumped the property wall, he could not anticipate that he would land in the pond and might hurt himself. [BBC News, 5-26-2016]