Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY JWR UPDATE. IT'S FREE. (AND NO SPAM!) Just click here.

• American Eagle is accused by progressives of spreading Nazi propaganda by declaring Sydney Sweeney has Great Jeans. It could be worse. If Truth in Advertising laws were strictly enforced, every Volkswagen Beetle would have a sticker on the inside of the driver door that reads Body by Hitler.

• Good Morning America said it's Nazi propaganda to say a blonde-haired blue-eyed Sydney Sweeney Has Great Jeans. The Progressives are now at war against anyone with blonde hair and blue eyes. So I guess this delays the Comedy Store's website ad proclaiming Argus Hamilton Has Great Jokes.

• Astronomer CEO Andy Byron resigned last week after the kiss-cam at the Coldplay concert in Boston caught him in an adulterous embrace with his HR Director Kristin Cabot. People I know in L.A. don't understand why they were so embarrassed. It's not like they got caught at a Nickleback concert.

• The Weather Channel issued a Tsunami warning for the West Coast of California on Tuesday following a massive 8.7 earthquake that rocked the Northwest Pacific. Governor Gavin Newsom said the huge earthquake was caused by newly-discovered shifting geological plates. He named it Trump's Fault.

• The Wall Street Journal published a poll Monday showing the Democratic Party's approval with the American public has sunk to an all-time low of 33%. On the bright side, the Democrats just figured out how to sabotage President Trump and destroy his popularity. They're going to re-claim him.

• American Heritage noted Donald Trump began as a Democrat, then switched to GOP in 1987, then to the Reform Party in 2020, then back to the Democratic Party in 2021 and then to the Republican Party in 2009. I can say this. For a guy who's never touched alcohol or drugs, Trump sure loves to party.

• Buckingham Palace reported King Charles will host a state dinner for President Trump when Trump comes to England in September. The joke practically writes itself. This will be the first time that the President and the King have been on an island together since Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself

• The U.S.-Canada trade talks were reported stalled with Trump's August deadline looming. On a side note, former Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was seen on a date with Katy Perry Friday night and their attraction makes sense. Katy did once sing a song about how she once kissed a girl and liked it.

• New York was terrorized by a gunman with an AR-15 who entered a Park Avenue office building intent on shooting up the NFL offices. New York was pinch-hitting for one day. Chicago shooters are always exhausted by the time July is over and they asked for and got a little personal time.

• CNN was ripped for initially trying to label the New York shooting criminal a white guy despite the video evidence. When security cams showed an obviously black gunman, CNN anchors said he was probably white. Years ago CNN hired Don Lemon, introducing him on the air as probably straight.

• The New York shooter drove from Las Vegas to New York to try to shoot up the NFL offices on Park Avenue to protest his NFL head injury. However, he never played for the NFL. Personally I don't think an armchair quarterback headache over the Raiders should count as an NFL brain injury.

• EPA Secretary Lee Zeldin announced that the Trump Administration is eliminating the 2009 climate change auto restriction. They strangled automakers to comply with un-provable weather theories. I don't think anyone can argue that climate change is the number-one cause of documentaries.

(COMMENT, BELOW)