Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• Coldplay performed a concert in Boston Thursday when the arena Kiss Cam caught the high-tech CEO billionaire Andy Byron, who's married, in a romantic hug with his HR chief on the Jumbo Tron. It's hilarious. Coldplay hasn't made a single in years, and Thursday night, they made two.

• The Christian Science Monitor reports church attendance is up 21% since the pandemic. The church calendar is free in the summer for preachers to address sin. This week the marquee outside our church reads: Don't Do Anything You Wouldn't Want on the Jumbo Screen at a Coldplay concert.

• DNI chief Tulsi Gabbard released secret files that link President Obama to hatching the 2016 Russia Hoax against Trump. Pundits are already calling the scandal Obama-gate and likening it to Richard Nixon's Watergate scandal. Only this time the part of Tricky Dick will be played by Michelle.

• Fox Sports Radio commissioned a worldwide survey by Reddit to find out which country has the most beautiful women and the survey named Colombia. However, I think Denmark has far and away the most beautiful women for one simple reason. The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.

• President Trump urged Coca-Cola to switch back to its original formula using cane sugar like Mexico instead of high-fructose corn syrup. They're halfway home. The original Coca-Cola formula had a gram of cocaine in every bottle, which explains why people walked around so fast in silent movies.

• The WNBA All-Star Game was Saturday in Indianapolis where the WNBA players showed up for pregame warm-ups wearing t-shirts that read Pay Us What You Owe Us. If they did that, then the players would be sent a bill instead of a paycheck. Angel Reese should be getting brick layer money.

• Jeffrey Epstein's lawyer Alan Dershowitz revealed Friday there was never an Epstein client list. He said no current officeholders were named by victims and that Trump long ago banned Epstein from Mar a Lago. Not to be denied, Democrats just produced an old photo of Trump with Woody Allen.

• President Trump signed into law the $9 billion in cuts to wasteful programs and the next thing you know, CBS canceled Colbert. Hollywood got the message. This week the Women of the View will debate who was our country's greatest president, was it Trump in his 1st term or Trump in his 2nd term?

• President Trump said Thursday he plans to proceed with plans to bring back Alcatraz Island Prison in San Francisco Bay. A female Olympic swimming hopeful recently swam to the island and back and said the sharks paid no attention to her in the water. Even the sharks are gay in that town.

• Governor Gavin Newsom accused ICE agents of seizing Hispanics on the L.A. streets based on their appearances. It's deceiving. Last night Tom Homan saw The Three Amigos on TCM and today ICE is all over Hollywood looking to round up Steve Martin, Chevy Chase and Martin Short and deport them.

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