Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• The White House touted the improving U.S. economy in Thursday's press briefing revealing that Trump has even improved his favorite drink. Trump says he got Coca-Cola to drop high fructose corn syrup and use real cane sugar. Trump's celebrating with his new favorite drink, ICE and Mexican Coke.

• NBC News interviewed Stevie Wonder Tuesday as he approached the last week of his world tour to address recent Internet rumors that he's always faked being blind. That's demonstrably silly. Of course Stevie is blind, he's had nine children by five women, and to this day he thinks he's been faithful. CBS announced Thursday it's going to cancel Stephen Colbert and his CBS Late Show next year, saying it was an economic decision. Stephen will be okay, he plans to fly to the UK and move in with Ellen and Rosie. Can you imagine, three angry lesbian former talk show hosts living together?

• The U.S. Senate passed a bill Wednesday that will cut $9 billion from the Public Broadcasting Corporation and foreign aid deemed extraneous. So as a result, both NPR and PBS will no longer be subsidized by taxpayer funding. Get ready for Bert and Ernie to have the hottest Only Fans page ever.

• The New York Post reported a kiss-cam on the Jumbo-tron at a Coldplay concert in Boston caught CEO tech tycoon Andy Byron in an affair with the woman who heads his HR department. The crowd went wild. Next Saturday the Jumbotron at the Coldplay concert will reveal the entire Epstein List.

• House Oversight Committee chairman James Comer ripped former President Biden's White House staffers for refusing to testify about Joe's decline once they appeared before the committee. I can promise the chairman Joe Biden will never testify about his cognitive decline while in office. He'd just plead the 25th.

• Hunter Biden in an interview Tuesday blamed the election loss on Democrats for disloyalty to President Biden. He ripped the party for tossing his dad in favor of a historical candidate, Kamala Harris. Kamala was the first person of Jamaican and Canadian descent to be elected African American.

• CBS News' Scott MacFarlane claimed he got Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome at the Trump shooting last year from the mean looks the crowd gave him afterwards. He made a near presidential assassination an assault on his feelings. He has since been cleared by his gynecologist to return to work.

• Superman was a huge hit at the box office worldwide last weekend giving Warner Brothers its fifth consecutive week with a different WB movie topping the box office. It's not the woke message movie that many feared. I'm debating whether to go see Marvel's new film The Fantastic Four Genders.

• The National Chicken Council reported that Americans consumed eight billion chickens in the past year. Last week I drove to South Central L.A. to enjoy some Popeye's Fried Chicken and some gumbo soup. I asked the cashier if they serve crackers, and she laughed and replied, we serve everybody.

• The Weather Channel reported heavy rainstorms hit Texas Tuesday 10 days after a previous rainstorm flooded the Hill Country. It only took a few hours for it to be politicized. The Climatology Department at Harvard explains the destructive rainstorms occurred because Israel controls the weather.

• Governor Newsom said Trump's ruthless cruel raids have sent migrant families into hiding, impacting schools churches, and businesses. The home-sheltering by illegal migrants has also affected the freeways. Traffic is moving so fast Republicans are getting their first taste of their future life in Texas.

• The ICE raid on the marijuana farm in Camarillo last week ended up nabbing 355 illegal migrants including many criminals as well as Mexican children working in the field as indentured slaves. I find California's adoption of slavery a welcome relief. I'm sick and tired of looking for a job.

• Barack Obama went on Michelle's podcast Tuesday to directly address divorce rumors about them that have been swirling in D.C. It's such a relief to comedians they are no longer above being lampooned. Michelle said she never had one thought of leaving her man, and Barack said neither did I.

• Hunter Biden blamed the Democrat 2024 election loss on disloyalty on Wednesday. Hunter cited party leaders for tossing his father off the ticket. Hunter confirmed his father is proud of his incredibly successful administration but Joe is reportedly furious more people didn't attend his funeral.

• President Trump slammed his MAGA supporters who won't allow the Jeffrey Epstein mystery to drop Wednesday. It's suspicious. The president's too-fast dismissal of the case coupled with no noise coming from the Democrats makes people think the Epstein List is milk, eggs, butter, Trump and Clinton.

• President Trump entertained the Crown Prince of Bahrain and the prime minister of Qatar at the White House Wednesday. It was profitable. The Gulf leaders agreed to buy $17 billion in U.S. airliners, jet engines, computer servers, Trump Swimsuit Calendars, Trump Korans, and Trump Hookah's.

• President Trump signed a law Wednesday cracking down on the Fentanyl imports plaguing the nation. The drug is now a major annoyance to Generation Z. It's causing kids in their 20s to test their cocaine for fentanyl every time they buy a gram and it seriously slows down their journey to rehab.

• President Trump named a four-star general in the Space Force Michael Guetlein to head the Golden Dome anti-missile shield for the U.S. The new military service branch patrols space. The Space Force is an ambitious project but without Captain Kirk, I don't see how it's going to be a ratings success.

• New York Socialist Democrat mayor candidate Zohran Mamdani slipped into the U.S. Capitol Wednesday to confer with House Democrats. He's a South Asian Muslim born in Uganda who voiced support for worldwide Intifada. Tunnel to Towers wasn't a charity to this crowd, it was the original plan.

• House Democratic Party Progressives were effusive in their praise of New York candidate Zohran Mamdani when he visited Congress Wednesday. By nature I'm a Southern secessionist and an English monarchist. The only time I ever want to hear from a Progressive is when my order at Starbucks is ready.

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