Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• Wimbledon got underway at the All England Club in England this week under new safety rules in place due to the torrid heat wave that's baking Europe. I must say it's much cooler here where I live. Today the Los Angeles forecast calls for President Trump Weather — 79 with a 100% chance of ICE.

• Florida announced plans to convert an old airfield in the middle of Everglades and make it an illegal migrant detention center calling it Alligator Alcatraz. It's surrounded by a swamp filled with alligators and pythons. If an immigrant criminal tries to buy his way out, it'll cost him an arm and a leg.

• Sporting News says 31 guys named Ryan from all over the U.S. met in Denver to see a Rockies-Dodgers game together. The Rockies record is 18-64. The Dodgers just donated $1 million for their fans dealing with ICE while Colorado just donated $1 million to pay for anti-depressants for their fans.

• New York South Asian socialist mayor nominee Zohran Mamdani vowed to tax white people extra. We are supposed to share our inherent skills in this country. If Zohran needs help with his golf swing or colonial administration, I'm here for him, and if I want to learn how to make a Slurpee, he's my guy.

• The New York mayoral election results opened a debate between the relative merits of socialism and capitalism. I love how capitalism allows you to work your way to the top. A guy who was working as a lowly McDonald's fry cook last summer just ordered the bombing of Iran's nuclear weapons program.

• President Trump stated Friday he saved the Ayatollah's life by vetoing Israel's planned drone strike assassination. The destruction of Iran's facilities leaves only three Islamic countries with atomic bombs –Pakistan, France and England. The U.S. remains the only Mexican country with nuclear weapons.

• President Trump praised the pilots of the B-2 Stealth Bombers for their role in last week attack on Iran's nuclear facility. I'm in awe that a B-2 bomber flew 36 hours and dropped six 30,000 pound bunker-buster bombs from 13,000 feet down an air shaft. I can't sink a bean bag into a corn hole.

• Fox News reported that the IAEA, the Israelis, the CIA and even the Iranians admitted the B-2 damage was devastating to Iran's nuclear program. The day after the bombing, Democrats reacted instinctively. Senator Chris Van Hollen immediately flew to Iran to have margaritas with the Ayatollah.

• Rosie O'Donnell posted a video from her new home in Ireland Thursday and blamed President Trump for her drinking and eating too much. In the 70s I blamed President Carter for my excessive drinking and use of cocaine. Jimmy didn't drink or do drugs, so I always felt like I was partying for two.

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