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Just Another Day in Court in Florida | From the Third-World Press

News of the Weird by Chuck Shepherd

By News of the Weird by Chuck Shepherd

Published July 17, 2015

Just Another Day in Court in Florida   |  From the Third-World Press

It started in 2008, when one of Tampa Bay's two nastiest radio "shock jocks," Todd Schnitt, sued the other, Bubba the Love Sponge Clem, for defamation. With depositions underway in 2013, according to reporting by the Tampa Bay Times, Schnitt's lawyer, Philip Campbell, unwinding in a bar, was hit on by a perky young paralegal who (unknown to him) worked for Bubba's lawyer's firm.

After several drinks, she exaggerated inebriation, angling for Campbell to drive her home. According to charges by the Florida Bar Association, the paralegal's boss called a Tampa cop to trail Campbell -- who, sure enough, witnessed the car weaving, and thus arrested Campbell for DUI.

(Bonus: Campbell's work-packed briefcase went missing in the traffic stop.) Bubba himself was not implicated, and the disciplinary charges against the lawyers, pending in June 2015, are creating suspense about which of them might take the fall. [Tampa Bay Times, 5-20-2015]

Kenya's The Standard reported the May proclamation by prominent Nairobi lawyer Felix Kiprono that he had fallen in love (long distance) with Malia Obama (who is, famously, part-Kenyan) and is prepared to offer President Obama 50 cows, 70 sheep and 30 goats in exchange for her hand. "If my request is granted," he said, he would not "resort to the cliche of popping champagne" but rather would "surprise (Malia) with mursik, the traditional Kalenjin sour milk," and affix the "sacred plant," sinendet, queen-like, around her head. [The Standard, 5-25-2015]

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