• A 78-year-old man in Slidell, Louisiana, was unable to get a good grip on a squirrel that was attacking him on April 26, possibly because the squirrel was "eating his hand," according to Slidell police.
KATC-TV News reported that the man was trying to choke the squirrel, who inflicted "significant injuries" on the victim. (He is expected to make a full recovery.)
Police said the man was walking around outside when the varmint came at him from the direction of the roof without any provocation.
In a prescient pre-scold, police said while the story might sound funny, the incident was serious. So stop laughing. [KATC, 4/27/2022]