Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Fox Business News ran a bar graph Friday showing that gas prices have doubled since the 2020 election. So recently I filled up my car for a hundred dollars and drove off without paying, and for doing that I was in court today and got fined fifty dollars. I'll be back with more money-saving tips later.

• The January 6th Committee announced new evidence against Trump just as evidence surfaced of China business dealings between Hunter and Joe. Would somebody make this all go away? The FEC investigated the 2020 vote count and impartially ruled that Joe Biden won Pennsylvania by six suitcases.

• Napa Valley police charged Nancy Pelosi's husband Paul Pelosi with driving under the influence of alcohol after a month-long investigation. Paul reportedly told the arresting officer that he'd drunk a few Vodka Martinis. Nancy Pelosi immediately blamed Russia for her husband's DUI.

• President Biden vowed Friday that the Supreme Court's overturning of Roe vs. Wade will be on the ballot in every U.S. congressional election this November. Things got even worse for Joe. The same day, Vladimir Putin signed a decree in Moscow to raise the price of everything in the United States.

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• G-7 leaders posed for photos informally together in Germany with seven of them not wearing neck ties. The leaders quickly got down to the business of supporting Ukraine. At one point when one of them said the G-7 should deploy B-52's, Biden looked up from his card and shouted Bingo!

• Prime Minister Boris Johnson rebuked interviewer Jake Tapper's claim that democracy is dying in the U.S. He said the U.S. is the Shining City on a Hill and the world's greatest guarantor of freedom. If things don't work out in Jolly Old England we can always print up a Hawaiian birth certificate for him.

• Green Day lead singer Billy Joe Armstrong announced at the Glastonbury Festival in England he is renouncing his U.S. citizenship because the Supreme Court outlawed abortions. However that's not what the court did. If people lost calories jumping to conclusions, obesity wouldn't be such a problem.

• The Supreme Court ruling overturning Roe v. Wade did not ban abortions nationwide but it does allows for Red States to ban abortions and allows Blue States to keep abortion legal. Nevertheless, pregnant women in the Red States have options. If you want an abortion, you can try the Pfizer vaccine.

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