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Effing morons!

News of the Weird by Chuck Shepherd

By News of the Weird by Chuck Shepherd

Published June 30, 2016

Effing morons!

The two most recent instances of suspects who claimed that the drugs or paraphernalia found in their genitals during police searches were not theirs (but were only being stored there for other people) were Tiffany Flores, 23, arrested in Fellsmere, Florida, on April 5 with a crack pipe in her vagina, and Deondre Lumpkin, 23, arrested in Largo, Florida, on March 22 with crack cocaine "concealed beneath his genitals" (though he did admit owning the marijuana found in his car). [The Smoking Gun, 4-6-2016] [The Smoking Gun, 3-26-2016]



The most recent suspect to have the bright idea to try biting off his fingertips (to avoid identification) was Kirk Kelly, wanted in Tampa for violating probation and picked up by police in February in Akron, Ohio. While being detained in Akron, he had begun to chew the skin off his fingers. Even if he had succeeded, he was easily identified as Kirk Kelly because of his body tattoos ("Port Tampa" and "813" -- Tampa's area code). [WFTS-TV (Tampa), 2-26-1016]

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