Jewish World Review June 18, 2004 / 29 Sivan, 5764
Divas gone dumb?
"Diva": The term is just about to move from creative and hip to annoying.
Four of America's top women performers may have all "jumped the shark" simultaneously: Janet Jackson, Jennifer Lopez, Madonna, and Britney Spears.
"Jumping The Shark" is the exact moment when quality becomes schmaltz, when adulation becomes pity. It refers to what the cognoscenti estimate was the last "good" episode of the TV series "Happy Days" the one immediately before Fonzie water-skied over a tank full of Great Whites.
Ms. Spears is on the musical disabled list. Her knee gave out during the shooting of a music video... and she underwent arthroscopic surgery.
She will have to wear a hard knee brace for the next six weeks and if there's one thing panting teenaged boys can tell you... a hard knee brace takes away all the allure of the rest of what she's not wearing.
Thus is cancelled the remainder of her four month U.S. tour that was to resume next Tuesday.
The good news for Ms. Spears, of course, is that the tour lasted longer than her marriage.
Bummed by Britney's bad break? Don't worry you can still go see Britney Classic.... Madonna.
Plenty of good seats available for her tour. After it opened on track to be the top-grossing junket of the year... the wheels, or the falsies, have fallen off.
In New York, Ticketmaster reported thousands of seats, in all price ranges, were available for HER six concerts at Madison Square Garden.
Ticket brokers the polite term for "scalpers" are reported to be offering deep discounts the polite term for "giving the damn tickets away."
This just in: The Material girl now has a new name. The artist is now formerly going to be known as Madonna, she now wants to be called Esther, a Hebrew name.
"I was named after my mother. My mother died when she was very young, of cancer, and ... I wanted to attach myself to another name," the singer says in an interview on ABC's "20/20," airing at 10 p.m. EDT tonight. "This is in no way a negation of who my mother is ... I wanted to attach myself to the energy of a different name."
Marie-Claire magazine spent a small fortune on a photo shoot for her, for their cover, reports MSNBC.com's Jeannette Walls.
"Bent over backwards" to accommodate her.
Then it came time for the interview and J. Lo was as silent as the audience watching Gigli, "very closed, not at all forthcoming," says the source.
And only then did it turn out that she'd married singer Marc Anthony. She not only didn't mention it to the magazine... after the fact, she wouldn't comment on it for them "not even a 'we're very happy.'"
Given the hubby's similar silence... maybe they're not.
Mock the silent as we may, but sometimes it is indeed better to keep quiet and let the world think you a fool, than open your mouth and confirm it.
Janet Jackson tells a London tabloid that the whole reaction to the Super Bowl disaster was not a wardrobe malfunction, but a societal one.
"I was used just to take the attention off what was really going on in the world..." made a victim of a, "plot by conservative forces."
Really, lady, don't flatter yourself.
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© 2003, MSNBC
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