Make Every Day Mother's Day

With Mother's Day upon us like a tray of eggs and coffee accidentally spilled on the blanket, it is time to ask the equally burning question: What do moms want?

The answer: a little less.

A little less perfection. A little less worry. A little less time in the car. We want a way of parenting that is not quite so overwrought.

That's a tall order in a country that has brought us entire sections of the bookstore — and TikTok — devoted to childrearing issues, and whole superstore aisles filled everything for our children's comfort, cognitive skill, safety and entertainment. That's not to mention the new-ish calendars specifying exactly which foods to feed them every day. I saw one that insisted today was the day for pumpkin seed butter — a product I have never even seen. (Have you?)

We are swimming in so much advice, so many products and so much pressure to DO THE RIGHT THING every second that it is hard to feel like we are doing a decent job.

One parenting magazine, for instance, recently emailed advice on how to make every single second of parent/child interaction into a math lesson:

"Ask your children, 'How many cereal boxes are in the cupboard?' and 'How many oranges are left in the bag?' When they're having a snack, ask, 'How many crackers do you have?' Line the crackers up and have them point with their finger and count each cracker one at a time."

Why waste time just talking to your kid when you could be prepping them for their college entrance exams?

And then there are the "requirements" for when we moms do almost anything with our kids. My favorite example was an article years ago, "How to Have A Fun (And Totally Safe) Day In the Sun with Your Little One." It featured a four-page spread on how to prepare, what to bring and how to undertake this difficult and daunting activity — going outside on a sunny day without our kids getting burned/poisoned/run over/stung/itchy or bored.

Preparing for absolutely every possible contingency is the order of the day. That's not too much to ask, is it? Just check the web hourly for any new scares about plastics or food or bottles or classes your kid is supposed to take, lest they fall off the fast track forever.

I hear from friends worrying that getting their kid into baseball at 5 or 6 or 7 is too late. Friends who wake up before dawn on Saturdays to get their kids to a travel game, as if they've got an Olympic contender in the backseat.

We're only trying to do the best by our kids, but society has set that bar impossibly high. Thou shalt buy only the right brands! Thou shalt buy only the super-est of foods! And, of course, thou shalt constantly stimulate thy child's development, lest a single synapse fail to spark.

And when we're not enriching our children, our job is to pamper them as if ... well, as if it's Kids Day. But it's not! It's Mother's Day! And if our kids can make breakfast and do the dishes this one special day, pro tip: They can do it the rest of the year too.