Clicking on banner ads enables JWR to constantly improve
Jewish World Review May 5, 2004 / 14 Iyar, 5764

Andy Borowitz

Michael Barone
JWR's Pundits
World Editorial
Cartoon Showcase

Mallard Fillmore

Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Don Feder
Suzanne Fields
James Glassman
Paul Greenberg
Bob Greene
Betsy Hart
Nat Hentoff
David Horowitz
Marianne Jennings
Michael Kelly
Mort Kondracke
Ch. Krauthammer
Lawrence Kudlow
Dr. Laura
John Leo
David Limbaugh
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Chris Matthews
Michael Medved
Kathleen Parker
Wes Pruden
Sam Schulman
Amity Shlaes
Roger Simon
Tony Snow
Thomas Sowell
Cal Thomas
Jonathan S. Tobin
Ben Wattenberg
George Will
Bruce Williams
Walter Williams
Mort Zuckerman

Consumer Reports

Saddam calls abuse ‘too little, too late’

‘The work of amateurs,’ madman says | Former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein today blasted the mistreatment of Iraqi prisoners at Abu Ghraib prison, calling the acts of humiliation “too little, too late.”

Speaking from his prison cell, the former Iraqi strongman said that although he generally applauds the mistreatment of detainees, “From what I’ve seen, what was done at Abu Ghraib appears to be the work of amateurs.”

Saddam added that the fact that the humiliation of prisoners appears to have been isolated and not widespread demonstrates that there was insufficient postwar planning on the part of the U.S. military.

“If they had planned this phase properly, there would have been systematic torture in every prison in Iraq, period,” an outraged Saddam said. “Clearly, when the U.S. invaded Iraq they didn’t give a moment’s thought to a comprehensive postwar torture program.”

Saddam also blasted the soldiers’ use of the Abu Ghraib prison, his favorite venue for torturing prisoners, calling their decision to torture prisoners there “a clear infringement of my trademark.”

Saddam’s French lawyer, Jacques Verges, said that he was seriously considering pursuing a trademark infringement case against the soldiers involved, arguing that “the concept of torturing prisoners at Abu Ghraib prison is unquestionably the intellectual property of Monsieur Saddam Hussein.”

At a press conference in Paris, Mr. Verges told reporters: “These acts of humiliation were not just unforgivable, but unoriginal.”

Elsewhere, the Kerry for President campaign aired a new ad today showcasing the life of the candidate, including home-movie footage of a three-year-old John Kerry flip-flopping for the very first time.

Donate to JWR

Enjoy this writer's work? Why not sign-up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.


JWR Contributor Andy Borowitz, a former president of the Harvard Lampoon, is a regular humor columnist for, The New Yorker, The New York Times and TV Guide. Recognized by Esquire magazine as one of the most powerful producers in television, he was the creator and producer of the hit TV series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and producer of the Oscar-nominated film Pleasantville. He is the author of the just released "Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison and "Trillionaire Next Door: The Greedy Investor's Guide to Day Trading" , "Rationalizations to Live By". Comments by clicking here. Visit his website by clicking here.


© 2004, Andy Borowitz