Jewish World Review April 10, 2003 / 8 Nisan, 5763

Jerry Della Femina

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THE WAR OF WORDS: Did we get him? | Let's hope that the next dust storm our troops are facing in Iraq will be composed of 99 parts good old-fashioned dust and one part vaporized Saddam Hussein and his two disgusting kids.

The fact is, Saddam, his much-vaunted Republican Guard, and his weapons of destruction have fizzled out.

The truth is, the only member of the Iraqi so-called leadership who has a future is that pathetic spokesman, Information Minister Muhammad Said al-Sahhaf. I look forward to seeing him bluster and twitch and go into one of his delusional tirades. He should be awarded a medal. The French, who are more fond of giving out medals than fighting in a just war, will soon be awarding him "The Royal Order of the Blind Ostrich." Every night he comes on and says, "Americans? There are no Americans in Iraq.

Those tanks across the street? They are a mirage. We have lots of mirages in the desert." But I see a great future for him watching the news each night on the Comedy Channel.

Al-Sahhaf's myopia is almost matched by some of the newscasts that emanate from the United States. One can tell the degree a news organization was against the war three weeks ago by how they are reporting the American and British victories today.

Best job done in reporting has been NBC. I don't know how Tom Brokaw felt about our taking out Saddam and his henchmen when the war started, but he has been consistent in giving us the news -- good or bad -- without little snide editorializing. The late David Bloom did a spectacular job of telling us what was happening in Iraq -- no frills just the facts.

In contrast there are other television personalities who look like they have just sucked on a lemon every time they had to announce another American or British victory. CNN, who had that disgraceful punk Peter Benedict Arnett reporting for them, has been watching a different war than everyone else.

The best line of all on the vast disparity of coverage came from Jay Leno who said, "Yesterday when I was driving to work, the war was going badly for the Coalition Forces. It seemed that everyone in Iraq had taken up arms and was driving us out of their country. Our troops were stopped and retreating. We were losing badly. Iraqi troops were attacking our flank because our supply was stretched too far. But, last night when I came home, the war was going incredibly well. Our troops were advancing without any opposition. Iraqis were standing on the roadside throwing flowers at the advancing soldiers and thanking them for ridding their country of Saddam. I guess the difference was when I was driving to work, I was listening to NPR, and on my way home I was listening to Fox."

This is a short column because I'm going to rush home to watch 16 more hours of reality television. And, though I am not a very religious person, please join me in prayer that Saddam is as dead as a doornail.

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JWR contributor Jerry Della Femina was recently named by Advertising Age as one of the 100 Most Influential Advertising People of the Century. He's perhaps the most sought-after advertising expert in the country, there is no network, no publication and no organization on which, in which, or before which Mr. Della Femina has not appeared. He is also the author of two books, From Those Wonderful Folks Who Gave You Pearl Harbor (a best-seller), and An Italian Grows in Brooklyn (a non-seller). Comment by clicking here.


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10/17/02: Bloomberg for Honorary Italian of the Year

© 2002, Jerry Della Femina