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• Kamala Harris is reported considering a run for California governor as prelude and platform for running for president again in 2028. Kamala won the California Attorney General election in 2010 for the same reason she lost the presidential election in 2024. She had the black vote all locked up.
• Bernie Sanders slammed Anderson Cooper and CNN during a town hall for ignoring socialist issues that address the oppressed. He's always been like this. When Bernie was a little boy in the 1940s and his friends played Cowboys and Indians, Bernie always played the Chinese railroad worker.
• Prince Harry appeared in court in London to ask the British government to provide him with round-the-clock protection from death threats. He wants armed MI-5 agents. I don't want to say married life doesn't agree with him but last week in Santa Barbara, Prince Harry called ICE on himself.
• House Democrats tried to save their patronage powers by demanding Elon Musk leave the U.S. government by May 30th due to the 130-day limit for special government employees. Hunter Biden is no longer getting $400,000 for his artwork. He's down to two hundred bucks to spray-paint obscenities on a Tesla.
• The White House was allowed by a federal judge to require every illegal alien to register, then self-deport, then come back. That'll be easy. They've figured out if they stop coming for 6 months, the border will be so quiet DOGE will fire the Border Patrol for showing up for work and doing nothing.
• The CPI says retail egg prices hit $6 a dozen as we wait for the chickens that were slaughtered by the millions due to Bird Flu to be replaced. It just takes time. A chicken can't lay an egg until it's six months old, and that's only if the ISIS terrorist finds the 6-month-old chicken sexually attractive.
• The Wall Street Journal reported that GOP bond holders and GOP stock investors were terrified by the market swings from Trump's buccaneering tariff strategy. Did they think they elected peace and calm last November? You don't marry Evel Knievel if you don't like jumping over buses on a motorcycle.
• The Hollywood Reporter notes the trailer for Mission Impossible: the Final Reckoning starring Tom Cruise was released Tuesday in the 8th installment of the action-packed franchise. It's well known that Tom Cruise does all his own movie stunts. That's because death is the only way out of Scientology.
• Prince Harry arrived in London Monday to argue in British courts his demand for the Crown to pay for his bodyguard security detail in his everyday life. The prince explained he's under constant threats of bodily harm and incessant threats to his life. Wouldn't it be easier to simply ask for a divorce?
• President Trump advised investors seven minutes before the markets opened Wednesday it's a great day to buy. An hour later he slapped China with a 125% tariff, and the market soared 3,000 points. The last time a guy scored this many points against China it was Shaquille O'Neal in the 1996 Olympics.
• The Wall Street Journal reported the near-3,000 point surge in the stock market Wednesday set an all-time record on the Stock Exchange. The good news didn't prevent partisanship. Harvard economists reminded us that Donald Trump is only responsible for the stock market when it goes down.
• President Trump relented on U.S. allies and trading partners and announced his latest round of tariffs Wednesday lowering most tariffs to 10% but raising China's to 125% He'd raised it to 40% days earlier. I guess it's true, when you raise tariffs on China an hour later you want to raise them again.
• President Trump prompted the stock market to skyrocket Wednesday by placing a 90-day pause on his previous tariff hikes and leaving a 10% tariff on most countries. However he slapped a 125% tariff on everything we get from China. Had he done this 5 years ago nobody could have afforded Covid.
• President Trump admitted Wednesday he rethought his across-the-board high tariffs the night before when Japan started dumping U.S. Treasury bonds. He wisely decided to retreat based on the market news at hand. At midnight Moody's rated the value of U.S. Treasury bonds just below Groupons.
• President Trump invited reporters into the Oval Office on Wednesday where he signed executive orders and fielded questions. One of the orders provides protection for Lake Michigan from the Asian carp that's devouring everything in the lake. It's against the law to disturb a Mafia burial ground.
• Uncharted by Chris Whipple details the delusion and denial about Joe Biden's cognitive decline by his staffers and by the media that protected him. I'll say this for him, in 2020 Joe promised to restore the soul of the nation and he succeeded. The McRib is now available for the first time since 2012.
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