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• The Masters sponsored by Mercedes-Benz begins Thursday but Tiger Woods cannot play due to his injury last fall. He ruptured his Achilles tendon, I'd guess, while slamming on his brakes. The difference between a Mercedes and a golf ball is Tiger can hit a golf ball 300 yards without hitting a tree.
• The Toronto Blue Jays signed their superstar Vladimir Guerrero Jr. to a $500 million contract Monday. Canada is especially proud of the 26-year-old because he was born in Canada when his dad played in Montreal. Hitters love playing in Canada because the umpires are too polite to call you out.
• President Trump hosted the world champion L.A. Dodgers at the White House Monday. He got a huge laugh when he noted that California's two senators were there, but said he won't mention them because he doesn't like them. I love to tell political jokes but the problem is, too many of them get elected.
• Washington, D.C., will mark the 160th anniversary of the end of the Civil War in 1865 Friday with a gala show at historic Ford's Theater. They've even asked Trump to sit in the balcony. That's not likely to work, with Trump's luck he'd just turn his head at the last second and Baldwin would just miss.
• Hands Off protestors staged noisy leftist demonstrations all over Los Angeles Saturday to protest Elon Musk's DOGE cuts. The protestors are vocal, they're vulgar and they're everywhere. Yesterday I walked past a Tesla parked on Palm Drive without spray painting a swastika on it and now I'm the Nazi.
• President Trump said Monday every country in the world called him to try to strike tariff deals in the wake of his tariff announcements on Monday which included another 50% on Chinese imports. China has been the most important country for American schools. They invented paper and gunpowder.
• President Trump took questions from reporters in the Oval Office Monday alongside Israel's Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu. Israel and the U.S. government are concerned about the fate of their hostages. There are 24 hostages in Gaza and 62% of Americans have money in the stock market.
• Wall Street began to recover Monday from Trump's tariffs last week that crashed the Dow Jones and wiped out $6 trillion in market value. It was a bloodbath. To understand how much money was lost in the stock market on Thursday and Friday it's as if America released a dozen Snow White remakes.
• The New York Post reported Wall Street has lost $10 trillion in market value in 2025. I'm sitting pretty myself. I still have my 1960 complete Topps Major League Baseball player card collection in a shoe box in my closet, which places me 6th on the current Forbes List of the 100 Wealthiest Americans.
• Democratic Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett joined the Tesla Takedown protest Saturday and demanded that Musk be taken down. She's an absolute idiot. If you have trouble keeping up with woke culture, AOC is a charismatic female Puerto Rican socialist, and Jasmine Crockett is the Disney remake.
• Elon Musk sparked an angry response from the White House economic team Sunday when he suggested a U.S.-EU free trade deal. He may have outlived his usefulness. I get the feeling that we are just a few days from Trump calling Elon Musk an African American, then deporting him to El Salvador.
• President Trump met with reporters Monday and noted at length how gas and egg prices and interest rates have gone down in the last month. However he did acknowledge that the cost of living is still way too high. When food falls on the floor, due to inflation, the 5-second rule is now 7.3 seconds.
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