Thursday

July 10th, 2025

Diversions

Least Competent Criminals

News of the Weird by Chuck Shepherd

By News of the Weird by Chuck Shepherd

Published April 26, 2018

Least Competent Criminals

Kenneth R. Shutes Jr. of New Richmond, Wisconsin, bolted from a midnight traffic stop on Feb. 6, but he didn't make it far before having to call 911 for help. The Twin Cities Pioneer Press reported that Shutes got stuck in a frozen swamp in rural Star Prairie and, after about an hour, became unable to walk as temperatures dipped to minus 8 degrees. Fire and rescue workers removed Shutes from the wooded area, and he was later charged in St. Croix County Circuit Court for failing to obey an officer, marijuana possession and obstructing an officer. Shutes told a deputy he "needed an incident like this because he was making poor decisions in his life." [Twin Cities Pioneer Press, 2/13/2018]

Marion County (Florida) sheriff's officials were surprised to get a text from David W. Romig, 52, on Jan. 30 about a murder scene at his home in Dunnellon. The Ocala Star Banner reported that detectives were called to the home after Romig reported an intruder had killed his girlfriend, 64-year-old Sally Kaufmann-Ruff. Some of the evidence they found didn't match Romig's story, and their suspicions were confirmed later in the day when Romig texted a detective, saying, "I think they are going to arrest me" -- a text he meant to send to his wife. On Feb. 12, Romig admitted he may have killed Kaufmann-Ruff. He was charged with homicide, making a false report and tampering with evidence. [Ocala Star Banner, 2/14/2018]

Columnists

Toons