Jewish World Review March 26, 2002 / 13 Nisan, 5762
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | New Yorkers are poets at heart. If you don't believe me, look at the "honkus" on the lampposts in Cobble Hill, Brooklyn - anti-honking haikus written, at first, by a 31-year-old named Aaron Naparstek:
you from new jersey/honking in front of my house/in your suv.
Naparstek penned this salvo back in December, when the honking on his street - an approach to the Brooklyn Bridge - grew unbearable.
"The honking had just reached this fevered pitch," recalls the Web site designer, "when one guy started leaning on the horn nonstop, and I was like, 'Okay. I'm getting some eggs, and if that guy is still honking when I get back from the fridge, he's getting it.'"
Get it he did: Three eggs from Naparstek's window. "By the time the third one hit he was getting out of his car, ballistic, screaming, 'I'm gonna come back tonight and kill you!'"
Time for Plan B, Naparstek decided: Write anti-honking poems instead.
After he posted his first few haikus - defined as three-line poems of five-seven-five syllables - dozens of others began popping up in the nabe. So he started a Web site - www.honku.org - and now New Yorkers are flooding him with poems not only anti-honking, but anti-rude behavior in general.
Clearly, this city is desperate to teach its most inconsiderate inhabitants a lesson - in meter. Here are mine. Feel free to send me some New York pet peeve haikus (Peevkus? New Yorkus?) of your own!
Too Much Excitement
oh boy, a street fair./funnel cake, backrubs, sausage/some guy selling socks
Oh, Mighty Kneed Wonder!
you must really be/something, taking up two seats/while granny lurches
Time Well Spent
Song of the Invigorating Car Alarm
wow, I feel terrif!/3 a.m. and I'm rarin'/to blowtorch your car
jewish museum/hotsy-totsy nazi show/as bubbe says: oy.
articulated./that's what the new buses are./in other words: slow.
if you see a cab/a checkered one, that is: smile!/you're in a movie.
Truth in Sipping
a small is a small/it is not "tall" or "grandé"/it's small. short. little.
don't you dare turn right/until I scurry across!/well you dared. i'm dead.
03/21/02: Your 'victim,' is my 'survivor' is somebody else's 'hero'?