Monday

June 16th, 2025

Insight

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Argus Hamilton

By Argus Hamilton

Published March 26, 2025

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

GET ARGUS' DAILY SMILES TO YOUR INBOX. SIGN UP FOR THE JWR UPDATE. IT'S FREE. (AND NO SPAM!) Just click here.

The Hollywood Reporter reports that the Walt Disney Studio is scrambling to contain the damage from the failure of Snow White over the weekend after spending $250 million to produce it. The numbers weren't pretty Monday. Snow White was such a box office bomb that ISIS is taking credit for it.

Bernie Sanders and Congresswoman AOC drew cheers from young voters during a nationwide tour. They took turns blasting Trump and Elon. Bernie and AOC can rip the White House as an oligarchy, but who else but billionaires can afford to finance the Easter Egg Roll at today's egg prices?

Minnesota Governor Tim Walz called for Tesla stock to crash and burn. The next day he learned Minnesota's pension fund is invested heavily in Tesla. It's the funniest thing since the 1982 Falkland War when the British Navy sank an Argentine cruiser we later learned was insured by Lloyds of London.

Tesla stock rebounded Monday on news that an FBI task force has been formed to track down the vandals. I know how to stop them. If I owned a Tesla dealership, I'd park all the Teslas on the lot in the shape of a cross, so that if Democrats burn them at night, it'll look like they are holding a Klan rally.

The FBI warned Tesla dealers and Tesla drivers to be on guard for leftist protestors who are bent on protesting Elon Musk by defacing and firebombing Teslas. Watching these vandals on the news, I notice they have one thing in common. They all have Co-Exist bumper stickers on the back of their cars.

President Trump hosted a televised cabinet meeting Monday that turned into an administration pep rally and a roast of his opponents. MSNBC and CNN air Trump for two minutes before they cut him off. The Trump Doctrine encourages you to be the reason someone smiles today, or blocks you.

Pennsylvania Senator John Fetterman was targeted by fellow Democrats for his support of Israel and Trump border policies. He's their last centrist in the Senate. You know Democrats are in trouble when the only voice of reason is a stroke victim who dresses like he stole his clothes from a laundromat.

Bobby Kennedy suggested bird flu be allowed to play out, leaving the survivors with immunity. Back in my home state of Oklahoma, the city limits sign on the road leading into Elk City proudly announces that Elk City is a Bird Sanctuary. The next sign that you see reads Kentucky Fried Chicken.

(COMMENT, BELOW)

Columnists

Toons