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• President Trump while hosting Ireland's PM for Paddy's Day mentioned golfing with Irishman Rory McIlroy three weeks ago, and of course Trump frequently plays with Tiger Woods. PGA golfers tend to gravitate to the GOP. Democrats, by and large, think the U.S. Open is Joe Biden's border policy.
• Taco Bell polled Americans who love Mexican food and asked them to list their favorite dishes topped by Nachos, then Burritos then Fajitas. In my view, Taco Tuesday sends a terrible message to our nation's young people. They need to know that tacos are always an option no matter what day it is.
• Starbucks was ordered by a federal judge Friday to pay a man $50 million for spilling hot tea on him at a Starbuck's drive-thru window. In additional news, Starbucks just announced they are planning to sell beer and wine. Apparently it's becoming difficult to sell sober people a $12 cup of coffee.
• The White House told federal workers to scrub personal pronouns from their email signatures Monday. This past week, we've learned that Oregon's Mental Health Advisory Board now includes a woman who identifies as a turtle. I'm going to withhold any judgment until I see if she lives to be 150.
• The Miami Herald reported thousands of college kids are flooding the Florida beaches this week and partying on beer and drugs day and night. How I survived my days at the University of Oklahoma is a medical wonder. I remember one morning I drank a glass of orange juice, just to surprise my liver.
• Fox News reports that Elon Musk's DOGE team started looking into Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid fraud and discovered Medicaid paid $49,000 for rehab to a patient who's been dead for one year. The good news is, the treatment worked. He hasn't had a drink or a drug since March of 2024.
• Elon Musk launched his SpaceX rocket to the Space Station to rescue two American astronauts stranded up there for 9 months. Everything is a partisan issue now. Progressive protestors picketed NASA headquarters in Washington demanding that Musk return the two astronauts to the Space Station.
• MSNBC's Lawrence O'Donnell announced he's taking a week off because 52 days of Trump has him exhausted. I advise any Republican who has a terminal illness to join the Democratic Party and set your TV channel to MSNBC for as long as Trump is president. Each day will seem like ten years.
• President Trump activated the Alien Enemies Act of 1798 to capture, imprison or deport suspected enemy aliens in the United States. This year it's Venezuelan criminal gang members. The law was last used in 2024 by Los Angeles to keep Japan's best ballplayers interned in Dodger Stadium.
• The U.S. expelled South Africa's ambassador after he said Trump is leading a white supremacist movement, ignoring the vastly improved race relations in South Africa and America's South since I was a kid. But old habits die hard. When it comes to sorting laundry, I'm still an avowed segregationist.
• The White House laughed off a motion by a French legislator in the European Parliament this week who introduced a motion demanding that the U.S. return the Statue of Liberty to France. It's not illegal to ask for it back. The legal basis for the demand is the French and Indian-Giver War of 1854.
• President Trump warned Iran if the Houti's in Yemen fire at ships in the Red Sea that Iran will face the consequences. The Houti's are Iran's clients. The USS Blowfish was decommissioned last October or it would have been awesome watching the Blowfish firing cruise missiles at the Houti's.
• Germany is amending its 80-year-old military restriction laws this week and planning a huge increase in defense spending to help protect Europe. They'll fund more German soldiers, build more German tanks, German warplanes, German artillery and German cruise missiles. What could go wrong?
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