
President Trump addressed reporters Tuesday to try to reassure the panicky stock markets that his tariffs will bring tremendous U.S. prosperity in the long run. Tell that to my 401K. Right now, the difference between a pigeon and a stock investor is, a pigeon can still make a deposit on a new Mercedes.
• Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney previously served as the Director of the Bank of Canada and the Bank of England. U.S.-Canada relations are chaotic now. Last night in the National Hockey League, the Toronto Maple Leafs upended the Florida Panthers 4-2, officially 7-2 after adding the tariff.
• The Los Angeles Marathon will be run from downtown to the beach Sunday sponsored by ASICS running shoes. L.A. is the only place where jogging 26 miles though the city is faster than driving 26 miles through the city. Most American think that the L.A. Marathon means sitting through the Oscars.
• Tiger Woods ruptured his Achilles tendon while training for the Masters Monday and underwent surgery on his left foot. The bad news is, Tiger's right foot, which controls his accelerator pedal and his brake pedal on his Escalade is 100%. At least he can drive a golf ball 300 yards without hitting a tree.
• President Trump faced reporters on the White House lawn with Elon Musk and six Tesla's on Tuesday where Trump selected one to buy for himself. Elon offered him a Tesla that goes from 0 to 60 in just two seconds. I once test-drove one and the GPS lady told me to stop, so she could get out of the car.
• President Trump appeared with Elon Musk on the White House lawn Tuesday to denounce fire bombings at Tesla dealerships. While standing there, Trump bought a Tesla from Elon and will have it delivered to him at the White House. I hope the delivery guy remembers to wear a suit and say thank you.
• The White House Director of Counter-Terrorism Sebastian Gorka explained how new streamlined rules make it easier for the CIA, the FBI and the U.S. military to track down terrorists worldwide. They all have one tell. Terrorists are the only people who won't eat Hawaiian Pizza because of the ham.
• Secretary of State Marco Rubio met with Ukraine President Zelensky in Saudi Arabia Tuesday and obtained Ukraine's agreement to a 30-day ceasefire. The next step is to get Trump, Putin and Zelensky together on the same world stage. If they were opera singers they'd be billed as Three Hitler's.
• Ukraine was given $3 billion in aid to fight the Russians by Germany on Friday, reviving a scary scenario. Twice in the last century, Germany went to war with the entire world, and you'd think the entire world could band together and defeat Germany in thirty seconds, but no. Both times it was close.
• The House of Representatives narrowly passed the GOP continuing budget resolution and sent it on to the U.S. Senate to try to avoid a government shutdown. Senate Democrats are worried about DOGE cuts in case of shutdown. Thousands of government workers would be forced to stop not working.
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