Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• A Botany News study discovered that plants can actually talk to each other by emitting ultra-sonic sounds to communicate stress. In addition, botanists on the Eastern Seaboard have just identified and categorized four brand-new strains of Poison Ivy. They are Columbia, Harvard, Princeton and Yale.

• The New York Post reported Friday there's concern among Democratic Party wise owls over their lack of appealing new centrists in the party, while the Old Guard keeps hammering away. You did NOT lose one hour of sleep Sunday. Bernie Sanders took it and gave it to somebody who needed it more.

• The White House predicted Friday that gas prices will soon come down with new drilling permits despite a series of recent problems in the supply chain trying to get the fuel to the market. This past week, a Nigerian gasoline tanker exploded in the ocean. I had no idea Elon Musk made gasoline tankers.

• Saturday Night Live had Mike Myers bring back his Dr. Evil character as Elon Musk. Elon's mission didn't get much attention from Baby Boomers until this week. It was reported on Monday that DOGE is planning on coming after all those people who still owe Columbia House for the tape cassettes.

• Alec Baldwin will host an invite-only party celebrating the grand reopening of Planet Hollywood in New York City tonight that will feature a performance by 50 Cent. The hip-hop legend certainly has no fear about sharing a stage with Baldwin. He's been shot so many times by now he has natural immunity.

• Kanye West was deactivated on Twitter after he aired a Super Bowl ad that directed people to his website that sells swastika T-shirts for twenty dollars apiece. He greets people to his house parties wearing Nazi armbands and posts photos of his KKK robe. I still don't think they're going to let him join.

• President Trump will fly to Saudi Arabia to seal a trillion-dollar investment deal from the Crown Prince and to discuss a peace deal with the Ukrainians. Trump faces domestic pressure for both peace and further fighting. Many protestors on the street and online stand with Ukraine, from 4,000 miles away.

• The Pentagon purge of LGBTQ references on its website inadvertently erased a photo of the B-29 Enola Gay that dropped the atomic bomb on Nagasaki. The Armed Forces is eliminating all gay references. Good thing there's no longer a Trans World Airlines or we'd be shooting them out of the sky.

• President Trump's Canada tariffs ignited tensions Friday. In 1814, Canadians burned the White House, freed 5,000 slaves, paid them and sent them to Ghana, where the former slaves then bought slaves and prospered. It was the first-ever instance of exporting American know-how to the Third World.

• President Trump said Friday only cabinet members can fire people in their department, not Elon Musk's DOGE, capping a rough week for America's Genius. The same day, Elon's second rocket in a row exploded on launch. They're investigating the cause and contacting the HIMS website for a fix.

• CNN says Joe Biden is struggling to find donors to build a Joe Biden Presidential Library. The construction on Barack Obama's library in Chicago is being delayed by steep cost overruns. Trump plans to just take over an existing library and let kids talk out loud and shoot rubber bands at each other.

• The National Football League ended its annual rookie combine in Indianapolis on Tuesday. The sports talk radio world is now buzzing about the upcoming NFL player draft. I think the best possible draft for the Dallas Cowboys would have been if Jerry Jones had been drafted during the Vietnam War.

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