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• CNN host Jake Tapper wrote a new book called Original Sin about the press cover-up of Joe Biden's mental decline in office. In interviews Tapper called for Moderate Democrats to take back control of the party. The problem today is, being a Moderate Democrat is like being the least-drunk Australian.
• Governor Gavin Newsom broke with Democrats on transgenders in sports Tuesday. California lawmakers are vowing to resist Trump's order requiring the proper biological genders to compete in high school and college sports. And so, for the foreseeable future, men are still allowed to play soccer.
• Iowa Senator Joni Ernst was reported in sexual relationships with a military official who'd been busted previously in a sexting scandal. She's now the early GOP favorite in 2028. We often elect our presidents based on which candidate we want to be there when the phone rings at three in the morning.
• President Trump signed a proclamation Thursday designating March as Irish-American Heritage Month in the U.S., honoring the contributions of the Irish people. For instance, to protect their fair skin from sunburn, it was the Irish who invented the world's most effective sun block. It's called the pub.
• Bobby Kennedy set out this week to cut down on the nation's obesity and clamp down on harmful weight loss pills. Looking over the current scene I'd say Bobby really has his work cut out for him. Today little girls dream of someday being fat enough to be the lead dancer in the Jardiance commercials.
• President Trump said he wasn't worried about the current effect on the markets his tariffs will have. In reality, capitalism fixes itself. For every Generation Z college grad who's broke and is needy for work, there's a Baby Boomer making seven figures who doesn't know how to open a PDF file
• ICE Director Tom Homan threatened mayors of sanctuary cities with obstruction charges if they continue blocking ICE roundups of illegal migrants. I'm of two minds. Most people in Los Angeles are against mass deportations, that is until you tell them it could take up to 20 minutes off their commute.
• The Washington Post ripped House and Senate Democrats for their sullen and juvenile behavior during the president's speech to the Joint Session of Congress Tuesday. Next year's State of the Union speech will be held in the All-Purpose Room of an elementary school. Watch out for flying juice boxes!
• Senator John Fetterman ripped fellow Democrats Wednesday over their petulant protest during Trump's speech to the Joint Session of Congress. The chaos was led by Congressman Al Green. Elon Musk has now cut the government crossbreeding program that produced a jackass with a pony tail.
• Congressman Al Green stood up at the start of President Trump's speech to the Joint Session of Congress Tuesday and heckled Trump and waved his cane at him. The Speaker promptly evicted him. The congressman was escorted out to the lobby where he was handed a Klondike Bar as promised.
• House Democrats sang We Shall Overcome while Congressman Al Green was being evicted from Tuesday's speech to Congress Tuesday. They are unalterably opposed to anything associated with Republicans. Today House Democrats staged a rally at Reagan National Airport to boo the safe landings. Sports Illustrated reports the Los Angeles Lakers are the hottest topic on sports radio since they acquired Serbian star Luca Doncic in a trade with Dallas. He and LeBron are partnering beautifully. On Tuesday night, Luca Doncic dropped 30 points on the New Orleans Pelicans, 39 if you add the tariff.
• The New York Post published a story about the alarming number of CVS pharmacies that are closing in major cities around the country. They are way under-staffed in L.A. I stood in line so long at CVS Wednesday you'd think Trump was still giving his State of the Union speech to the cashier.
• Bobby Kennedy was assigned by Trump to head a committee tasked to Make America Healthy Again. He's got his work cut out for him. A study on Wednesday says pizza is addictive as cocaine, proving that somebody needs a better cocaine dealer, or should share the name of their pizza restaurant.
• Elon Musk told Joe Rogan in last week's interview he helped save comedy by buying Twitter and freeing up speech. He feels he thwarted the left's desire to monitor jokes and cancel comedians over insensitivity. Communists believe as an article of faith that dark humor is like food, not everybody gets it.
• The Hollywood Reporter noted that forty million Americans watched President Trump's speech to Congress. It was startling to watch a one hour and forty minute speech where half the House Chamber never applauded once. Maybe at their age they were afraid clapping would turn out the lights.
• President Trump during his speech to Congress faced sullen Democrats who glared silently at him and refused to applaud anything. They were just like the convention crowd when I performed for the Sons of the Union Army Veterans. They heard my accent and put 2 and 2 together very quickly.
• President Trump earned 76% approval for his speech to a joint session of Congress Tuesday. The once stately occasion was spoiled by petulant Democrats who stayed seated and pouted silently all night. Only one Democratic congressman stood up for Donald Trump and he was waving a cane at him.
• Senator Elyssa Slotkin had the tough job of giving the Democrat response to Trump's speech on Tuesday. For Slotkin to have to follow a Trump speech is like a comedian having to go onstage after Gallagher in 1978. Democrats agreed with me, if you add the stipulation that America's the watermelon.
• President Trump set an all-time record Tuesday night for the longest Address to a Joint Session of Congress by speaking for one hour and forty minutes. He could now be impeached for a record third time. Donald Trump is clearly in violation of the 13th Amendment now that he owns the Democrats.
• President Trump touched the nation during his speech to Congress when he deputized a little boy who was battling brain cancer and named him a Secret Service agent. The House Democrats seated in the Chamber refused to applaud the little boy for good reason. It's not like he decided to be a little girl.
• House Democrats were slammed Wednesday for glaring silently during Trump's entire speech to Congress. They wouldn't even applaud a kid cancer survivor and tragedy victims. There's no denying that Trump sometimes acts like a 4-year-old, especially when he's being pursued by a mob of 2-year-olds.
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