Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

GET ARGUS' DAILY SMILES TO YOUR INBOX. SIGN UP FOR THE JWR UPDATE. IT'S FREE. (AND NO SPAM!) Just click here.

• The Hollywood Reporter reviewed Sunday night's annual Oscars ceremony on ABC as pleasant but passionless. Only one award went unannounced, and that was the Oscar for Most Likely to Be Named on the Epstein Client List. There simply wasn't enough air time to announce all the winners.

• Santa Fe police are reported baffled by the mysterious death of Oscar legend Gene Hackman, his wife and his dog in their home. It's widely rumored Hackman slipped on an onion, his wife choked on a croissant and the dog suffocated on a beret. Police can't deny there could be a French Connection.

• Elon Musk was on Joe Rogan's podcast where he defended DOGE's cuts in waste and fraud in government. Musk sparked outrage from House Democrats by vowing to end Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security payments to people who've died. Next thing you know, he'll try to keep them from voting.

• California Governor Gavin Newsom welcomed a new court ruling which gives the state the power to sweep homeless encampments off the streets even if the people have nowhere else to go. It has gotten out of hand. In San Francisco, the homeless situation is so bad, Uber picks up in a shopping cart.

• President Trump met with Ukraine President Zelensky to seal a minerals deal Friday but it went off the rails when Zelensky insisted on a U.S. security guarantee and an iron dome first. The American taxpayers have given Zelensky $187 billion. It's nice to know not one penny was wasted on a coat and tie.

• Ukraine President Zelensky flew to London Saturday to begin a continent-wide series of meetings with European leaders to seek their military help after he blew up the U.S. minerals deal. It looks like Zelensky will never be returning to the White House. That's how well his audition for MSNBC went.

• President Trump warned Ukraine's President Zelensky to accept the minerals deal as previously agreed Monday. The president is clearly fed up with him. President Trump just drew a mark 5'2” high at the White House gate then posted a sign reading, You Must Be This Tall to Receive Military Aid.

• The Daily Mail reports EU leaders are urging Zelensky to apologize to Trump for his behavior and sign the minerals deal. The blow up in the Oval Office changed a lot of people's minds about the war. Zelensky turned out to be such a little jerk it made me wonder what took Putin so long to invade.

• Jeff Bezos plans to launch his girlfriend Lauren Sanchez, Katy Perry and Gayle King into space aboard his Blue Origin rocket for an all women's space flight in May. It's all for science, of course. It will be a wonderful experiment to see how well plastic surgery holds up in a zero-gravity environment.

(COMMENT, BELOW)