• Polk County (Florida) Sheriff's officers responded to an unusual 911 call on New Year's Eve: Michael Lester, 39, of Winter Haven, started off by telling the dispatcher, "Umm, I'm drunk. I don't know where I'm at. I'm just drunk driving." The dispatcher urged Lester to pull over and park, but he explained that he was driving on the wrong side of the road near a Publix and wondered where the police were. WTVT reported that officers finally caught up with Lester, who helpfully explained he'd had several beers, hadn't slept much and had taken methamphetamine earlier in the day; he was jailed on a DUI charge. Officers later posted on their Facebook page that "in this particular incident, nobody was hurt, so we couldn't help but LOTO (that means we Laughed Our Tasers Off)." [WTVT, 1/5/2018]
•Disgruntled driver Matthew Middleton, 49, of Peterlee, England, spotted a speed camera near Hartlepool Rugby Club in October and decided to take a stand. He got out of his car and stood in front of the camera, blocking it, until police arrested him. Middleton further antagonized the officer by calling him a "pig" and giving his name as Elvis Presley. "They acted like what I did was the crime of the century," Middleton told Metro News. "I know I shouldn't have done it. People have just been laughing about it ... well, apart from my wife." Middleton was fined about $54 plus court costs for his antics. [Metro News, 1/9/2018]
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