Least Competent Criminals | Approaching Maximum Capacity

• Most Recent Net-Cash-Loss Theft: The manager of the Nandos Riccarton restaurant in Christchurch, New Zealand, is pretty sure that he knows who swiped the contents of the store's tip jar that December evening (based on surveillance video), but the man denied the theft and walked out. The manager told police there was less than $10 in the jar at the time -- but also that the man had paid his $14.90 tab for food, yet hurried off without eating it. [Stuff.co.nz (Wellington), 12-21-2015]

• The Smoking Gun website suggested in December that the Fairbanks, Alaska, counterfeiting arrest of Chelsea Sperry, 31, might have set a woman's "record" for orifice-concealed contraband. Her vaginal inventory included 16 counterfeit bills (face value $890), one genuine $10 bill (in a different orifice), two baggies of meth, another containing seven morphine pills, two baggies of heroin and 40 empty baggies (apparently anticipating further sales, although it was not reported why the empty baggies -- and the $10 bill -- were not stored openly, for example, in her pocket). [The Smoking Gun, 12-11-2015]

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