Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

GET ARGUS' DAILY SMILES TO YOUR INBOX. SIGN UP FOR THE JWR UPDATE. IT'S FREE. (AND NO SPAM!) Just click here.

• The London Sun showed dramatic telescopic photographs of the asteroid that is hurtling its way toward Earth in 2032. Scientists say it has a two percent chance of making a direct hit and smashing into our planet. The asteroid is 3 points ahead of the nearest Democrat in the latest New Hampshire poll.

• The New York Post cited statistics showing inflation is causing people to pair off as couples and share expenses. That's true, my girlfriend just paid off all our house and vehicle payments with her Only Fans account. She's going to totally flip out when she finds out she has an Only Fans account.

• George Washington's Mount Vernon estate celebrated Presidents Day Monday with speeches and a fife and drum parade. The plantation is where he raised tobacco, grew hemp, distilled whiskey and brewed beer. George Washington was celebrated throughout the Colonies as the Father of Spring Break.

• NBC News reports a letter handwritten by George Washington went on sale for Presidents Day in which the general consoled Connecticut partisans whose ammunition was seized by British troops. Britain's eventual defeat in the war taught future armies a valuable lesson. Never wear red in the woods.

• Canadian hockey fans in Montreal booed the U.S. National Anthem before the U.S. and Canadian hockey all-star teams played Saturday. A huge fistfight broke out between the teams the moment the game started. Americans only took up ice hockey so they could legally punch a Canadian in the face.

• President Trump and Elon Musk sat together for an interview with Fox News host Sean Hannity Tuesday and they stood by their mission to slash wasteful government spending. Acting on DOGE's advice, President Trump fired 700 FAA employees Monday. It turned the aviation industry upside down.

• A Delta Airlines plane flipped upside down after landing during a snowstorm on an icy runway at Toronto Airport on Monday. Somehow every passenger was able to get off the upside-down airline safely. It was evacuated quickly because no one had trouble retrieving their bags from the overhead bins.

• CBS 60 Minutes interviewed three German officials who detailed new German laws that make it a crime to insult government officials. It seems to me I've heard that song before. In 1930s Germany, they couldn't even make fun of Hitler, and he had a funny looking mustache and one testicle.

• JD Vance gave a speech to the Munich Security Conference in which the U.S. vice president lectured Germany for their new laws banning spoken or online criticism of public officials. But it was the Munich Choir performance before JD's speech that rang my alarm bell. The Germans are singing again.

• President Trump dispatched U.S. peace negotiators to Saudi Arabia Monday where they'll begin talks with Russian peace negotiators to try to find ways to end the three-year-long conflict. I have to file an extension after my tax accountant told me I owe $30,000 to Ukraine. So this war is far from over.

• Sporting News rated the Oklahoma Sooners women's softball team number one this spring having won four consecutive NCAA championships. Things have really changed since I went to OU. Today the University of Oklahoma hopes to build a football team that the women's softball team can be proud of.

(COMMENT, BELOW)