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• The Super Bowl was played between the Philadelphia Eagles and defending champions Kansas City Chiefs in New Orleans. One thing annoys me. By the time the game was over, Taylor Swift made two more appearances in the Super Bowl than the Dallas Cowboys have made since 1996.
• The NFL announced Thursday it would remove the phrase End Racism that was stenciled into the back of the end zones during past Super Bowls as a social justice message from the NFL players to the world. Things have changed since the election. The new stenciled message reads, Pay Child Support.
• Bobby Kennedy appeared heading for confirmation as Secretary of Health and Human Services Tuesday after a few reluctant GOP senators agreed to back him. Bobby has said that vaccines cause autism, which might or might not be true. But if it is true, look at Elon Musk, he's running the country.
• House and Senate Democrats rallied to protest Elon's power to cut programs. They have to focus on Elon because Trump moves too fast for everyone. Last Tuesday Nancy Pelosi was seen hurrying through the Capitol Rotunda shouting at her stock broker on the phone to sell Greenland and buy Gaza.
• Elon Musk revealed Liz Cheney was a USAID official doling out millions to progressive causes overseas. It was a three-way deal. George W. Bush bombed Iraq, Dick Cheney rebuilt Iraq, and USAID put Sesame Street on Baghdad TV to teach Iraq not to throw Bert and Ernie off a roof for being gay.
• Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu enthusiastically backed Trump's idea for the U.S. to take over Gaza. In order to rebuild a peaceful Gaza it'd require overcoming thousands of years of bitter religious hatred. Still it would be easier than rebuilding a house in California after the wildfires.
• Colombia President Petro called for cocaine to be legalized worldwide, saying it is no worse than whiskey and it's illegal only because it's from South America. There are economic arguments for it as well. Gasoline in West Hollywood is so expensive it's cheaper to buy cocaine and just run everywhere.
• President Trump spoke at the National Prayer Breakfast and told how his assassination near-miss drew him closer to the Lord. We all tend to personalize the deity. My housekeeper devoutly believes that Christ was Mexican because it's said he had 12 Disciples and they traveled together in one Accord.
• Senator Mitch McConnell was seen getting around the Capitol in a wheelchair Thursday after he suffered a bad fall when the senator slipped and fell down the stairs onto the marble floor outside the Senate chamber. He incurred no lasting damage. Doctors attribute Mitch's survival to his hard shell.
• White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt faced tough press questions Friday over Trump's job performance his first weeks in office. It has been a mixed bag. President Trump has yet to drive down interest rates and inflation remains high, but the number of genders just hit a 16-year low.
• Rolling Stone published an article delivering a eulogy to hipsters, describing them as a trend that has lost its cool. Yesterday while at lunch at Barney's Beanery in West Hollywood, I accidentally angered a couple of guys by referring to them as hipsters. Apparently the correct term is conjoined twins.
• An ICE raid on a Colorado apartment complex turned up no Venezuelan gang members Tuesday thinking wrongly they would find drugs. Fentanyl, cocaine and crystal meth are so yesterday, today the gang members are getting filthy rich operating egg hatcheries. None of them can believe it's all legal.
• Governor Gavin Newsom met with Trump and agreed to divert water from Northern California to L.A. after his policy left L.A. reservoirs empty during the wildfires. In further news on the situation, Trump signed an executive order re-naming San Andreas. From now on it'll be known as Gavin's Fault.
• New York City detectives busted a burglary ring Tuesday that was robbing homes of NFL stars while they were playing on TV. Their break-in in Cincinnati terrified a young woman alone in Joe Burrow's home who was not his fiancĂ©e. It's just like the perfect drop-back passer to think he can run the option.
• Michael Jordan's son Marcus Jordan was arrested in Orlando for DUI and having cocaine after his Lamborghini got stuck between railroad tracks. Reaction varied. Bulls fans expressed sorrow for Jordan's alcohol and drug problem while Lakers fans said that's a good way to lose a Lamborghini.
• President Trump was surrounded by hundreds of girls and women athletes in the White House Wednesday and signed an order banning transgender women from women's sports. He's overly generous. In three weeks Donald Trump has annexed and renamed the planet, and all we wanted was a wall.
• The White House announced Vice President JD Vance will attend an international conference on AI in Paris and a security conference in Munich next week. Before taking off JD hilariously misspelled President Trump in his social media post on Tuesday. The correct spelling is President Musk.
• Denmark's government announced Thursday it is open to U.S. military expansion in Greenland on the same day Panama pulled out of its China deal and gave U.S. warships free passage through the Panama Canal. It gets even better. The USGA just announced plans to hold the 2028 U.S. Open in Gaza.
• Democratic Congressman Al Green filed Articles of Impeachment against President Trump over Trump's proposal that the United States take over the Gaza Strip and re-develop it as the Riviera of the Mideast. I know what Trump's thinking. The three golf courses will have some very interesting bunkers.
• The National Football League announced Tuesday that President Trump has accepted the league invitation to attend Sunday's Super Bowl in the New Orleans Super Dome. The pregame ceremony is not to be missed. President Trump will be on hand to throw out the first undocumented hot dog vendor.
• The Hollywood Reporter noted that Joe Biden was in Beverly Hills Monday to sign to be a client with the Creative Artists Talent Agency. The agency wasted no time arranging for Joe to get some stage time on the Las Vegas Strip. The word on the street is that he'll be Jeff Dunham's right hand man.
• Democrats rallied outside the U.S. Capitol Tuesday and declared war on Musk for cancelling USAID that financed their agenda worldwide with U.S. taxpayer billions. It replaced capitalism with Progressivism. The demonstrators tried burning a Tesla Cybertruck and the truck just laughed at them.
• President Trump warned Iran Tuesday he's issued orders that if Iran assassinates him that Iran is to be wiped off the face of the earth. An Iranian was arrested in October for plotting to kill him. It's generally believed there are no Iranians on the Starship Enterprise because Star Trek is set in the future.
• North Korean dictator Kim Jung Un opened up North Korea for tourism Tuesday, allowing the world to see the Hermit Kingdom. This week a newspaper photograph was taken of Kim when he recently visited a state pig farm. The caption reads Six Pigs Surrounding Dear Leader, 3rd from the left.
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