Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• Senate Democrats went on CNN to oppose Trump's deportations last weekend and they demanded to know who will harvest the crops if migrants have been deported home. Well, I think a lot of the recently fired federal DEI supervisors can pick our fruits and nuts and vegetables. They have experience.

• The Los Angeles Lakers pulled off a stunning surprise trade with the Dallas Mavericks Saturday by trading three players for 25-year-old Luka Doncic. The timing was perfect. The NBA superstar from Serbia measures 6-feet-6 and weighs 230 pounds, but he's 6-foot-10 and 347 pounds with the tariff.

• Homeland Security is ramping up security in the French Quarter in New Orleans to protect Super Bowl attendees from ISIS attack. The terrorists have had a busy year. During last year's Summer Olympics sailing competition Australia took the gold, England took the Silver and Somalia took the Boat.

• WalMart announced a multibillion dollar gambit to stock its shelves with store brands to lower food prices and to offer bulk packaging. This on the heels of the news that WalMart is planning to hire 100,000 U.S. military veterans, which can only mean one thing. WalMart is going to invade Costco.

• L.A. freeways were blocked by anti-deportation protests Sunday. The traffic nightmare is the only thing that could follow wildfires and mudslides. TV viewers have a choice and I confess I haven't watched one NFL playoff game because I can't pull myself away from the Final Episode of Los Angeles.

• Californians are circulating a petition calling for California to secede from the U.S. The governor is citing states' rights to resist federal law, Cal State is allowing segregated dorms and lawmakers want to nullify the president's new tariff. This could get really ugly if President Lincoln decides to take action.

• President Trump's tariff on Canadian goods sparked an angry reaction from Canadians during National Hockey League games in Canada Saturday. The Canadian fans in the arenas booed and showed no respect during the singing of the U.S. National Anthem. They intentionally misspelled YMCA.

• White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt announced President Trump will be implementing a 25% tariff on all goods from Canada beginning Tuesday. Tariffs on wood from Canada will send home building costs to skyrocket. Lumber is already so expensive I just saw a termite with an EBT card.

• President Trump ripped DEI in the FAA's hiring policy and demanded that air traffic controllers be only the best qualified people Friday. It's been a crazy year in the skies. Last night, while driving to the Comedy Store I put my phone on Airplane Mode and a helicopter just missed crashing into my car.

• The Justice Department fired scores of FBI agents and employees who were perceived to have been involved in Democratic Party partisan probes and prosecutions of Trump and his supporters Friday. The FBI did the impossible. They turned a white Republican billionaire into a black folk hero.

• Border Patrol agents exchanged fire with Mexican cartel members across the Rio Grande. The U.S. just designated the cartel a terrorist organization. So this weekend don't ask me the difference between the Cartel's Super Bowl watch party and a Mexican wedding reception, I just target the drones.

• The New York Times reported a neuro-psychiatrist's study of people who have had a near-death experience and people who came back to life after being pronounced dead. It's morbidly riveting. For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow, but the phone calls taper off.

(COMMENT, BELOW)