• Boriska Kipriyanovich, 21, of Volgograd, Russia, claims that he lived on Mars until a long-ago war wiped out all life on that planet and he has now been reborn on Earth. As a Martian, he visited Earth, where his people had close ties to ancient Egyptians; that's how he knows there is a mechanism behind the ear of the Great Sphinx of Giza that can unlock it, which will "significantly change" life on Earth. His mother told Metro News in November that Kipriyanovich could read by the age of 1, draw by 2 and has talked about ancient civilizations since he was a small boy, despite not having been taught about them. Among his revelations about Martians: They stop aging at age 35 and are immortal; they grow to about 7 feet tall and breathe carbon dioxide; and they still live on Mars, but underground. No further word about what changes an "unlocked" Sphinx will bring. [Metro News, 11/7/2017]
• A Chicago wiener stand was the scene of a crime gone south on Oct. 31 when Terrion Pouncy, 19, accidentally discharged his gun, which he was trying to conceal in his pants, and shot himself in a most sensitive location. The Chicago Tribune reported police were called to the Original Maxwell Street Polish at about 6 a.m., after a hooded man threatened employees with a small-caliber pistol. One of the employees gave him money from the cash register, according to the complaint against Pouncy, after which the robber stole the man's cellphone and wallet, and ran outside, stuffing the gun in his pants, but it went off twice, striking his "groin" and thigh. Pouncy kept running and eventually called 911 to report that he'd been shot. He was charged with two counts of armed robbery with a firearm, but couldn't appear for his bond hearing, as he was recovering at a local hospital. [Chicago Tribune, 11/3/2017]