Jewish World Review Feb. 19, 2003 / 17 Adar I, 5763

James P. Pinkerton

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Osama: Idiotic infindels are fulfilling my plans perfectly | My plan is working well. When I, Osama bin Laden, ordered the blessed events of Sept. 11, I hoped to provoke an apocalyptic conflict between the faithful and the infidels. And not only is that happening, but also the Americans and Europeans are breaking up their alliance.

Indeed, the Americans are so desperate to destroy Iraq - a country that had nothing to do with the righteous destruction of the World Trade Center - that they don't care if they antagonize the major countries of all Eurasia. Happy is the man who watches his enemies fight each other.

My audiotape, released last Tuesday, has sealed the fate of that socialist apostate, Saddam Hussein. I see Colin Powell on CNN saying it proves a "nexus" between my al-Qaida and his Iraq. Hah. As I said on that tape, the only connection between me and my enemies is my swordpoint hitting their neck.

The Americans have never understood that it has always been my dream to rid the Muslim Ummah - our world - of those secular Arabs who strut around like colonialist colonels in their epaulets and berets, men who preen like women, like peacocks. Such evildoers are obstacles to Islamic purity, to a return to the blessed days of the Caliphate, when mosque and state were united in holiness. Now, thanks to the Americans, those red infidels will be gone, buried under smart bombs. Who says the Great Satan can't be made to do God's work?

Almost five years ago, in a Fatwah issued on Feb. 23, 1998, I enunciated three goals for my jihad: First, the United States out of my homeland, Saudi Arabia. Second, relief for Iraq. Third, a counter-crusade against Israel.

So how am I doing? On the first goal, very well. The American-Saudi alliance has largely sundered; the newspapers report that those corrupt princes - I know how corrupt they are because I was once pals with them - have made the decision to ask the Americans to leave after the fighting in Iraq is over. Insh'allah, God willing, those thieving latter-day Pharaohs will be gone soon.

Indeed, the only question is who will be the first to remove those thieves from their palaces in Riyadh. Maybe it will be the Americans. Some in the Pentagon refer to Saudi Arabia as "the kernel of evil." They argue that the Saudis finance what they brand as "Wahabi evangelism" and "terrorism." That's true, of course. But since when did redemptive religion need money to gain converts? Did Christianity expand 2,000 years ago because it was funded by rich crooks? Of course not. It blossomed because the tree of faith was watered by the blood of martyrs.

The subject of martyrs brings up the second goal, help for Iraq. As I said, the Americans will kill Saddam and his Ba'ath Party thugs. Excellent. But they will kill many ordinary soldiers and civilians, too - martyrdoms shown live on Al-Jazeera TV. And once the Americans demolish Iraq, they will come in with money, seeking to buy the affection of the survivors. But we will be there, too, in the streets of Baghdad. As the Americans offer bribes, we will offer justice - and revenge. And eventually, just as they left Vietnam, they will leave Iraq.

Meanwhile, Muslim brothers in Pakistan - praise Allah for their 75 atomic bombs, waiting to be liberated, in their own special way - will be watching and reacting. And praise upon those pagans in Pyongyang; they have shown every country in the world that the path to independence from the Americans is found in the successful development of nuclear weapons.

Martyrs are also the key to the third goal, which is an attack on Israel. No direct assault seems possible right now, but the Zionists might prove useful to my plan in their own way. If the Israelis use the Iraq war as an opportunity to further oppress believers in the occupied territories, or perhaps to take action against Hezbollah in Lebanon, such deeds will only further convince the Arabs - and a billion more Muslims worldwide - that the Christians and Jews are implacable enemies.

Five years after my Fatwah, my three goals are not all achieved. But I'm patient. In the context of the 1,423 years of Islamic history, it's a good start.

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JWR contributor James P. Pinkerton, a former White House aide to Presidents Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush, is a columnist for Newsday, a contributor to the Fox News Channel, and an Adjunct Fellow at the New America Foundation in Washington, DC. Comment by clicking here.


© 2003, James P. Pinkerton