Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

GET ARGUS' DAILY SMILES TO YOUR INBOX. SIGN UP FOR THE JWR UPDATE. IT'S FREE. (AND NO SPAM!) Just click here.

• The Super Bowl will be played in New Orleans February 9th airing on Fox network. Polls show Chiefs fans prefer to watch the game at home with friends but Eagles fans prefer to watch the game at a sports bar. For Dallas Cowboys fans, the best place to watch the Super Bowl is the History Channel.

• The Weather Channel aired videos of dangerous mudslides in Los Angeles Monday that threaten to topple houses that sit on ridges in the Santa Monica Mountains and slide them into the canyons. Hundreds of homes in Los Angeles were built on bluffs. Nobody checked your credit rating in the 1950s.

• Colombia’s President Petro initially refused to take back repatriated criminals deported by Trump, but did an about-face Sunday after Trump threatened retaliatory tariffs. Democrats warn that the Trump tariffs will quadruple the price of Colombian flour. All I know is that it was $120 a gram in 1986.

• White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt announced major changes Monday, allowing many more media voices in the press briefing room. In addition, White House reporter and Trump irritant Jim Acosta resigned at CNN. He wants to spend more time at home demanding answers from his family.

• Pete Hegseth survived brutal hearings into his drinking and womanizing to be voted Secretary of Defense. The testimony was hilarious. When Pete promised the Senate he’ll never again take one drink if they’ll give him control of the U.S. Armed Forces, it was the most alcoholic thing I’ve ever heard.

• The White House denied Trump responsibility for the high price of eggs Tuesday, pointing out it was Biden who last year ordered the slaughter of 122 million chickens. He’s now known around the barnyard as Colonel Biden. A chicken applied for employment at KFC today and was given a job for life.

• CNBC reported that tech stocks plummeted on the NASDAQ Monday when China rolled out its AI company Deep Seek, which outperforms America’s Nvidia AI models at a much lower price. Tech traders panicked. Nvidia stock dropped faster than Bill Clinton’s pants on the runway at Epstein Island.

• The White House disclosed that the Biden administration granted the Taliban in Afghanistan a $15 million grant for condoms back in 2021. The condoms were the only form of birth control that the Taliban would accept from the United States. It’s not like we showed them the proper way to pull out.

• Secretary of State Marco Rubio took over foreign policy Monday and immediately went to work on the crisis in the Middle East. The State Department canceled a $50 million grant for condoms for Gaza. Israel is considering taking over the grant and adding birth control tablets and morning-after pills.

• President Trump offered tax breaks to overseas companies that build plants in the U.S. However, it was announced the same day that Ford will manufacture in India the Ford Eco Sport and the Ford Endeavor. In India, they believe if a Ford lives a good life, it will come back in the next life as a Bentley.

• President Trump told pal Elon Musk to send up a rocket and bring home the two U.S. astronauts stranded on the Space Station for months. Elon caused a flap on Holocaust Remembrance Day by calling on Germans to let go of their war guilt. He was in Germany to introduce his new Swasti Car.

• Bobby Kennedy spent Tuesday meeting with Senators on Capitol Hill to make his case to become HHS Secretary ahead of Wednesday’s confirmation hearing. Bobby wants to force Americans to eat better, to live healthier and live to be 100 years old. If successful, Bobby could bankrupt Social Security.

• Intel director nominee Tulsi Gabbard faces a tough Senate hearing Thursday. The Establishment hates her for saying the Ukraine war is a grab bag for the defense industry, and pointless because Russia will never let Ukraine in NATO. I’d just like to be the first to say Tulsi did not commit suicide next week.

(COMMENT, BELOW)