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• TV Guide noted President Trump's administration and cabinet will be populated by professional TV people. He chose 19 Fox News hosts, Fox News contributors and Fox News producers to work in his White House. This means every cabinet meeting will break regularly for a word from Balance of Nature.
• The CDC reports Bird Flu has claimed the lives of 140 million chickens in the U.S. during the last two years, creating a scarcity that caused poultry prices to skyrocket recently to all-time record highs. Egg price just hit $8 a dozen here in West Hollywood. It looks like we'll be painting potatoes for Easter.
• Los Angeles broke out in new brushfires Thursday in the mountains around Lake Castaic. The firefighters receive daily visits from Jay Leno, who himself has fallen down a mountain, broken two ribs in a motorcycle accident and caught fire while working under his car. Jay is their good luck charm.
• The Weather Channel aired footage of Gulf Coast residents digging out of the once-in-a-century blizzard from Louisiana to Florida this week. The snowstorm put everyone's daily life on hold. The residents of New Orleans stayed inside for two days trying to stay warm, delaying hundreds of murders.
• President Trump was addressing reporters in the Oval Office Tuesday when asked if Biden had left him a letter in the desk for him as is the tradition. Trump covered for Joe, pretending that the letter was gracious and wishing him well. Actually, Joe's letter said, Dear South, do NOT eat the yellow snow.
• President Trump signed the next wave of executive orders Thursday including one that names the United States the world capital of crypto-currency trading. Here's what I've learned over the last few years. If a hot-looking Chinese girl in a bikini sends you a FB message about crypto, ignore him.
• Al Sharpton in Minneapolis Wednesday ripped into President Trump for cancelling all Diversity Equity and Inclusion officers in the federal government. Sharpton's problem is, everyone's jumping off the DEI wagon. Here it is late January, and the days are getting lighter, and so are the TV commercials.
• ABC's Women of the View feted Episcopal Bishop Mariann Budde for rallying resistance to Trump from the pulpit Tuesday. It's been claimed that Trump's past statements reveal he's a racist, sexist homophobe who publicly mocks trans-genders. He doesn't trust comedians to do all the dirty work.
• President Trump ordered the release of all files on the assassinations of Jack Kennedy. During the autopsy his brain was preserved inside a steel container that was seized from storage by his brother Bobby. It harkens back to a time long ago when a president's brains were considered worth preserving.
• President Trump's executive order Thursday will release all files on the assassination of JFK, RFK and Martin Luther King. Trump's order could be an attempt to divert public suspicion away from himself. President Trump is generally believed to have killed Jimmy Carter just by getting elected.
• Politico reports the Democratic Party is in dire need of re-branding itself after the GOP won the working class votes in 2024. They should also re-brand their pet issues. For instance, if Democrats took Climate Change and re-branded it as Climate Transitioning, Republicans would fight like hell to stop it.
• President Trump issued executive orders Monday that evicted illegal aliens, opened oil drilling, ended DEI and even re-named bodies of water. The next day the Gulf of America was hit by its first blizzard in history. Trump hasn't been president for one week and already he's solved Global Warming.
• The New Orleans Times-Picayune newspaper reported that the city of New Orleans received seven inches of snow Monday for the first time in 125 years. The blizzard swept across the entire Gulf Coast. Viking River Cruises just added new stop-offs at the ports of New Orleans, Mobile and Pensacola.
• Elon Musk stood onstage and gave the crowd a stiff right arm wave at the Inaugural, which the Democrats deemed a Nazi salute. I can explain. Democratic pundits in the media have been calling Trump Hitler over and over for the last 10 years so there's a good chance Musk was simply brainwashed.
• Senate Democrats grilled Trump cabinet nominees in confirmation hearings Wednesday about Elon Musk's right arm salute at the Inaugural. When I was last in New York forty years ago, I saw hundreds of New Yorkers give the Nazi salute. And every time, a taxi would pull over and pick them up.
• Episcopal Bishop Mariann Budde tried to embarrass Trump at the National Prayer service by lecturing him from the pulpit to support transgenders and illegal aliens. He only has himself blame for this. Trump should have seen it coming when she sent around the collection plates before the sermon.
• President Trump said he'll make Saudi Arabia his first foreign visit if they'll buy $500 million worth of U.S. goods. The next day the Crown Prince offered to invest $600 billion in U.S. businesses and real estate. There's already so much Saudi money in California it hardly feels like China anymore.
• President Trump vowed to retake the Panama Canal that we gave away to Panama in 1979. We captured its drug dealing dictator Noriega in 1989 who hid in a safe house behind a 500-pound sack of flour. Noriega broke down in tears when he was told he'd paid $6 million for a 500-pound sack of flour.
• Joe Biden left Washington, D.C., Monday and flew to Southern California with his family to relax in the Santa Ynez wine country near Santa Barbara. There was one last grace note. Two days later, TV viewers got to see Los Angeles County catch fire one last time in the Build Back Better season finale.
• The Washington Post reported that women protestors staged a demonstration on Wednesday to mark the 52nd anniversary of the 1973 Supreme Court's Roe vs. Wade decision, which permitted abortions nationwide. Things were different in the 1970s. In those days only women could get pregnant.
• The World Health Organization is considering a new disabled classification for people unable to match up with a suitable sexual partner with whom they can have a family. Those who are unable to find a mate who's emotionally compatible will be classified as handicapped. Free parking, here I come!
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