Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• The Polar Vortex swept into the Eastern Seaboard last weekend, sending temperatures into single digits with the wind chill factors which moved the Inauguration indoors to the U.S. Capitol. You can't make this up. The people who want to invade Greenland said it's too cold to have the Inaugural outside.

• President Trump told a cheering pre-inauguration rally in the Capitol One Arena that he will usher in a brand-new Golden Age. He apologized for having to move his Inauguration ceremony and Inaugural parade indoors. Trump explained that outside isn't big enough to hold all his supporters.

• The New York Times reported Friday that Joe Biden's goal as president was to pass progressive legislation and go down in history as the next FDR. After the Inauguration Joe Biden was flown home to Wilmington where he went to work memorizing his next speech. It goes, Welcome to WalMart.

• President Trump basked in the crowd's adulations at his pre-inaugural rally in the Capitol One Arena Sunday and hailed his election as the greatest event in U.S. history. The next day security for Trump at the Inauguration Ceremony was at an all-time high. FBI and Secret Service were not allowed.

• The Inaugural Parade honoring the inauguration of Donald Trump had to be moved indoors to the Capitol One Arena, revealing the hand of G od. Can you imagine a more perfect place for Washington politicians to celebrate than the Capitol One Arena? Their ads ask What's in Your Wallet?

• President Trump was sworn in as president in the U.S. Capitol Rotunda on Monday, completing the greatest political comeback in U.S. politics. We elected a president with 3 baby mamas who overcame 92 criminal charges, 4 indictments, 2 assassination attempts and a mug shot. His rap handle is P. Donny.

• The Daily Telegraph said that America has elected a clinically insane man to be president. Sane presidents got us into Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan so maybe a president who's out of his mind will provide some welcome relief. Comedy Store customers don't pay $50 a ticket to hear how well I'm doing.

• President Trump's administration got to work Tuesday awaiting the confirmation of his cabinet appointees to implement his plans. Progressive Left commentators were all over cable news Sunday warning that Trump's policies are a time bomb. And funny, the first thing Trump did was extend Tik Tok.

• Tik Tok teetered on the brink of shutdown as the administration changed hands Monday. As the deadline approached, young people panicked as it appeared that Tik Tok could shut down for as long as 30 seconds. It would paralyze Generation Z whose attention span is 30 seconds due to Tik Tok.

• NBC News reports that some of the homes that were spared by last week's fires in the upscale neighborhoods on the west side of Los Angeles were destroyed by landslides Friday. Not everyone's grieving. The only guy happy about the Los Angeles fires is P. Diddy because it destroyed all the evidence.

• Governor Newsom signed an executive order Friday to jumpstart the brushfire clean-up efforts in L.A. I'd like to say one thing to Los Angeles civil authorities and to California water management officials. If the fire hydrants aren't going to work, stop giving me tickets every time I park in front of one.

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