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• The Washington Commanders advanced in the NFL playoffs on Sunday night in a thrilling upset win led by rookie quarterback Jaden Daniels. The next day, President Biden signed a bill into law clearing the way for the Commanders to return to Washington. Joe Biden thinks his dog is coming home.
• Carrie Underwood will sing America the Beautiful on the steps of the U.S. Capitol shortly before Donald Trump takes the Oath of Office at his Inauguration on Monday. Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos will sit together during the ceremony. Or, as it's known in sports, the owner's box.
• Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg proclaimed free speech is now the rule on his platform last week in his Joe Rogan interview in which the social media titan promised users a return to the good old days on Facebook. So I just checked my Farmville for the first time in twelve years. It's now a WalMart.
• Amazon struck a $40 million deal with Melania Trump to license a documentary about her life from Eastern Europe to New York fashion runways to First Lady. Melania told a reporter the first time she laid eyes on Donald Trump she was breathless. The Slovenians only poked 2 holes in the crate.
• Secretary of Defense nominee Pete Hegseth went before the Senate Armed Services Committee in his confirmation hearings Tuesday. He vowed to eliminate woke policies. On Tuesday, Santa Monica police arrested an arsonist for starting a wildfire with a gas blowtorch instead of an electric blowtorch.
• Defense Secretary nominee Pete Hegseth acknowledged past alcohol abuse in his confirmation hearings in the Senate. Committee members got Pete to say he'd resign if he drank while on the job of defending our country. We'd be two countries if Lincoln had applied the same rule to Ulysses S. Grant.
• Gavin Newsom told a press conference Monday plans are underway to build a re-imagined L.A. in the charred neighborhoods. His performance concerned many. While talking to reporters, Gavin Newsom began waving his arms around so wildly he came dangerously close to doing the Trump Dance.
• CBS News reports that Kamala Harris is refusing to allow Vice President-elect JD Vance and his family to check out the VP mansion before January 20th. Her aides explain she's being focused totally on the California wildfires. It'd complete the worst year of her life if they spread to Wine Country.
• Congress voted Tuesday to ban transgender athletes from participating in women's and girls' sports at schools and colleges. This'll make women's softball a lot more comfortable to watch on TV. I don't want to peek at the athlete's pants when the play-by-play announcer says there are two balls on the batter.
• Elon Musk called out British Prime Minister Keir Starmer and demanded he resign for failing to prosecute Muslim child-grooming gangs. It's quite brazen. The London Police recently issued a bulletin saying that they're looking for two child molesters, and they received 20,000 job applications.
• The Wall Street Journal reports Door Dash's booming business resulted in its publicly-traded stock soaring 74% in 2024. I don't know if the current crime epidemic helps or if it hurts the meal delivery business. I would use Door Dash more often, but it's such a hassle lowering the drawbridge.
• The Museum of African American Culture opened an exhibit on the history of Minstrel Shows where whites perform onstage in blackface. I emceed the 6th grade Minstrel Show on PTA Night in '63. Thank Heaven there were no cell phone cameras or I could get 5-10 years as Prime Minister of Canada.
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