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• The National Cathedral in Washington, D.C., will host the state funeral of former President Jimmy Carter on Thursday and President Biden will deliver the eulogy. It will be real eyeball test for TV viewers. President Biden will stand over the body of President Carter and you have to tell which is which.
• The Las Vegas Tourism and Convention Bureau reported that Sin City hosted 400,000 people to bring in the New Year. Savvy entrepreneurs used the merriment as a product showcase. I have to say that the launch of the new Cybertruck in Vegas was a lot more colorful than the Jaguar campaign.
• The London Daily Mail reported that an 18-year-old Canadian girl's breasts quadrupled in size from a B-cup to a DD-cup after she had received a Covid shot. This caused concern about her health. It could easily lead to alcoholism if she never has to pay for another drink for the rest of her life.
• New York Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers expressed awareness his turbulent time with the Jets may be coming to an end. He still called it the best two years of his life. In one recent game, Aaron Rodgers looked so old and past his prime the coach replaced him in the 4th quarter with Kamala Harris.
• The U.S. Surgeon General called for a warning label on alcoholic beverages, citing a study saying every beer a man drinks over 5 per week subtracts 9 minutes from a man's life. If that's true, then I'm joking from the grave. Back in college sometimes I'd drink a glass of water just to surprise my liver.
• Louisiana local and state politicians drew heat Monday for jumping in front of cameras ahead of the FBI probe into the Bourbon Street Bomber. The FBI has developed a new theory on the motive behind his act of terror. He was upset because he thought Alabama should be in the Sugar Bowl.
• Minecraft was listed the best-selling video game with 300,000,000 units sold Friday. When Baby Boomers were kids we didn't have video games, we played board games. The reason Trump wants Greenland and Canada is it'll give him a Risk card and bonus armies for capturing all of North America.
• Canada's outgoing Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said Tuesday there's not a snowball's chance in hell of Canada uniting with the United States. His departure from office will be a real blow to Canadian tourism. I loved to drive up to Canada in the autumn to see the Prime Minister change colors.
• Donald Trump continued beating the drum for buying Greenland Tuesday at a press conference in Palm Beach. I'd guess life at that latitude is daunting. Last year, police detectives in Greenland grilled a murder suspect and demanded to know where he was on the night of October 11th to March 5th.
• Donald Trump hosted a press briefing in Palm Beach Tuesday in which he announced the Gulf of Mexico is hereby re-named the Gulf of America. It inspired others. Hours later, the citizens of Greenland voted to re-name their nation New San Francisco in an effort to get Trump to shop elsewhere.
• ABC News in Los Angeles reported that coyotes are coming down from the hills above the city and hunting for food in neighborhoods, threatening small children and family pets alike. Last week a coyote was seen roaming around the USC campus. It returned to the hills an hour later $80,000 in debt.
• Amazon's Jeff Bezos is reportedly planning to marry Laura Sanchez in a huge wedding in Aspen this month. I don't see why it's such a big deal. Anyone who says that their wedding day was the happiest day of their life obviously never had 2 Snickers come down at once from the vending machine.
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